THE DAINTY DIARIES | A BOUDOIR AFFAIR: I

Part I: Three sessions. Three versions of me. One beautiful reminder not to lose myself along the way

Becoming a mom at 25 taught me a thing or two about putting others first. But I did recognize early on that I didn't want to become the mom who got so caught up caring for everyone else that she forgot about herself. We make sacrifices, of course, but at what cost? Sometimes, it's our own sense of identity that gets lost in the shuffle.

I've always believed that taking care of yourself is part of being able to show up for others. And somewhere along the way, I found a rather fabulous way to celebrate that philosophy within the beautiful world of boudoir photography.

This was my THIRD session, and I'm beginning to think I need to make it a tradition, revisiting the experience during different seasons of my life. Each session has captured a different version of me, and looking back at those images makes me proud. Not because I'm trying to preserve a particular look and please know I have no obsession with my younger self, but because I get to see the woman I was at that moment in time, era, year or decade.

A Little History Before the Heels Come Off

Boudoir has French roots, with boudoir referring to a woman's private room or retreat. That sense of privacy carries beautifully into boudoir photography, where intimate, sensual, and sometimes playful images allow you to be the subject of your own story.

For me, this has never been about simply snapping a few pictures in lingerie or gifting these for gentleman callers. If we're doing this, we're doing a PRODUCTION. Yes, you deserve it.

Finding My Why

I do these sessions for my own enjoyment and to celebrate my femininity as I evolve through different stages of life. There's something empowering about seeing yourself through a different lens and allowing yourself to be celebrated without needing an occasion, an audience, or anyone else's approval. Just becuz-I can!

And I especially love that my images aren't on display for public consumption. There's a little devious smile that comes with knowing these photographs are mine to enjoy privately. I mean-I have held on to these for over a solid year, lol. Think about wearing beautiful lingerie beneath your work clothes and going about your day feeling fabulous, all while everyone else is none the wiser. The confidence is your little secret, and that feeling alone could be a social experiment worth exploring!

Every click is a reminder to nurture my self-love, embrace my femininity, and give my inner goddess a little room to shine. It's an experience I get to keep for myself, and I rather like it that way especially when the call to review footage comes back **tee hee**

Spinning the Block

For this latest session, I returned to Veronica Boudoir Photography, a photographer I've known since our natural-hair-community days.

I remember when photography was still an idea she was exploring in the early decades of 2000's, experimenting with the craft before taking the leap and pursuing it full-time. I wanted to be a guinea pig for her dip into that side so I was happy she did my very first boudoir session. I've had the pleasure of witnessing her growth from those early days to the work she's creating now and they keep getting better n better.

Naturally, I was excited to revisit and experience that growth for myself. Her studio is in the Baltimore area, which gave me the perfect excuse to make a day of it. Walking into the session felt like catching up with an old friend. There was a familiarity that immediately put me at ease. Apparently, even a woman on her third boudoir session needs a warm-up! But once you get rolling, you step outside of yourself and take on a feisty persona.

My favorite setup was by the mirror. I love my reflection, so having the mirror as a companion felt right at home. But what I loved most was that she caught me laughing.

That image sums me up beautifully. I enjoy my sexy, but I don't want to take myself so seriously that I forget to have fun which is why I love whimsy. The laughter gives me balance. Sensuality can be intentional without becoming a full-time performance, and I want room for both the woman who knows her angles and the woman who can't keep a straight face.

Ten Years Later, A Little More Free

What surprised me most was how much more freeing the experience felt ten years later.

I expected to enjoy the session, but I didn't anticipate feeling quite so liberated. There was less pressure to get everything just right and more room to simply be. I could settle into the moment, enjoy myself, and let the experience unfold.

To me, that says something about the woman I'm becoming. Evolution doesn't always announce itself with a grand gesture. Sometimes, you recognize it in how comfortably you occupy a room after a quiet entrance, how readily you laugh, or how little you feel the need to prove or address anything.

Ten years later, I see a woman who is still growing, still discovering, and increasingly comfortable with herself. That freedom felt like confirmation that I'm heading in the right direction. Gratitude!

Consider This Your Sign

If you've been secretly admiring boudoir photographs, imagining yourself in the frame, but haven't quite worked up the nerve to book a session, consider this your nudge.

You don't have to wait for a milestone birthday, a particular dress size, a relationship, or some imaginary finish line before celebrating the woman you are today.

And no, you don't have to share your images with anyone. This experience can be entirely for you.

Your body has carried you through different chapters. Your identity has evolved. Your confidence may have taken a few detours. Why not give yourself a moment to document the woman standing here, right now? Three sessions in, I can tell you that there's something special about having those reminders to look back on. Each one tells a different story, and I look forward to seeing what the next chapter captures.

Until then, I'll keep my little collection tucked away and share what I shall, my confidence intact, and my secrets deliciously private ;)

Pour yourself something lovely, darling. This affair may be personal, but I have a few things to share with anyone considering their own. Stay tuned. ☕

Up Next: Part II: Before the camera clicks