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Day One: KVD Santa Sangre Annnnd here we go...first up on my red lip series is prolly my most warn reds (knowing dmn well I don't wear em often) and I keep this shade within reach. It's literally in my go to section of the stash. Kat Von D Everlasting Longwear Liquid Lipstick in Santa Sangre . I am a huge fan of her liquid lippies n started off with this becuz I had to go to work n figured if I'm gonna wear a mask, I need a good ol' stained lip that'll withstand my mouth moving n not have me removing my mask lookin like the joker! The shade is listed as a poison apple and as sexy as this is, I will say...it's not long lasting YET I don't need to reapply; if that makes sense. I don't need my lipsticks to last me 24 hrs or anything so it's not a breaker for me. I didn't time it or anything but after about 5 hrs (and mask movement mind u) the most I needed to do was dab lip balm to revive it. The best part of this Santa S is its a good lip stain. I typically do a few dots on my lips n blot around then add a gloss-but it's also perfect in its matte form. Day One is down in the books: KVD Santa Sangre for the Red Lip of Love for the day ! It was a good tip toe into these unfamiliar waters. I have a whole collection of KVD lip stains so no complaints here, I also think I have another red in her flock called Outlaw nearby I may need to dig up! Are you a stain lover or traditional lippie kinda gal?

Day 2: NARS Dragon Girl I dragged this one from the stash after being reminded on IG (Thanx Shalandra) and it instantly took me back to my love for makeup. I would spend hours in Sephora swatching and chatting it up with the MUA's throughout the store. NARS was my intro into makeup (Lovejoy blush to be exact) and back in the day the lippies from this line to have was the infamous Train Bleu and THIS... Dragon Girl . I am beginning to see the trend of my love for mattes in this shade. It's such a vibrant red where no liner is needed and it dries down comfortably.This WILL last all day, it just wasn't budging. I had to use some lip oil to remove it. I like how the application of the crayon is easier to apply than traditional lipstick and if I ever wear it down...I have the NARS pencil sharpener lol. It comes in handy!! I am glad I dusted this off.

I am excited for February! Don't know why but it seems like a boost of something in the air. After winter been wintering...I know Spring is around the corner n I am looking forward to the weather breaking. In attempts to show another sense of commitment to myself, I decided to step out my comfort zone and wear a red lip all month **gasp** I know! Red has always been my favorite color. I feel the most confident wearing red yet I am shy wearing the shade on my lips n tips!! Last year I shared my fear of the most fierce shade made in my post: Power of Red Although I felt like I was defying my mom, I actually felt like I crossed into a different realm of womanhood n every now n then I repeat the classic trend. All I know is, I love how it makes me feel as it can change ur entire appearance. Oh it's the little things that make such a difference. So here we go...**takes deep breathe** venturing into a land of rarity. The funny thing is...I have a bunch of #RedLippies and know dmn well I won't wear em so NOW I will dip into my stash n give it a whirl. I'm prolly more so excited I'll be rediscovering my love for makeup n playing in all shades of red ranging from blue-red, orange-red (fave), dark red, pinky red...ya never know! EEEK!!! I'll do a post per lip to showcase the #LOTD cuz I think they deserve they own shine with fun tips n tricks! If you are partaking in red lips this month and have any suggestions for your favorite...let me know via the comments or IG posts.

This month flew faster than a debit charge! We kicked the New Year with what I didn't think would happen-SNOW!! DMV gets a good snow blast every blue moon. Clearly...2022 was the blue moon and as a #WinterBaby I ain't mad. Thanks to the numbers, I was back at home which-no complaints here-I can get used to (again). After enjoying family time from the holiday season, it was time to get into planning the year mode but the snow left me hibernating even more n with literally EVERYONE catching the vid, I've been laying low n out the way all month loooong! The temp dipping to brick also helped but the month has been a whirlwind of laziness for me. Looking back on the month, I thought it would be fun to snag a page from my planner and write it out to share but also look back on when the year is over for my own sake: What did I learn this month: Patience What was my greatest accomplishment: Enjoying the holidays with my family and completing our family photoshoot-in peace lol. When did I experience joy this month: What am I spending too little/too much time on? I am spending too little time on producing and perfecting content creation and too much time on TV (these binges be like marathons) What didn't go to plan? And how can I improve it next month? Getting into a groove to start exercising. It be hard to move when ur snuggled in bed and its cold outside! I know...excuses-excuses!! I am going to improve by dedicating a full hour at least 2 time a week and increase every week up to 3 days. What is holding me back? Myself. Starting has always been the hard part annnnd I procrastinate (shocker). What do I want to achieve next month? No splurges for self and paying off remnants of small bills that linger (dmn u affirms lol). I am also gonna step up my game in learning French cuz once every few days isn't cutting it. I definitely wanna get better at giving time to things that will better serve me and enhance my life skills. Thank you for the birthday wishes n love! It was greatly appreciated. It was a beautiful day being honored by loved ones. As rocky as the month might've started and for as loooong as this month has felt, I am optimistic to get better throughout the year. I am determined to conquer my own fears n push thruuuuu. These challenges to myself are keeping me accountable n I know yall won't let me fail.

Here we are...baaaack at it again! It feels like just yesterday: Lordie I'm Fo'Tee when I entered into this next stage of womanhood. After a whole notha rotation round the sun I am Forty PLUS ONE!!! Wow! I have learned to embrace this aging process **cue random knee cracks** as I am now saying shyt my parents said n being that annoy'd old head who shakes her head at the antics of these young grasshoppers. Since leaving those roaring 30's, I am learning to steady work on growing every day. This year I've titled my birthday Forty Won becuz that's how I feel making it here. With the state of what's going on these days, I can't but to feel like I'm winning after using my abilities to create the life I want. When I sit in stillness, I'm able to really sit in peace as I hibernate so I can feel and be in touch with my feelings. I can go for a walk and not a breeze in sight yet see the leaves or grass move. Living in the moment has become a craving to where I don't cave into pressures to be online every day n overly work as a blogger. These breaks allow me to refresh ideas and not force creativity. At this point I am not trying to prove anything to nobody! I am living in my time where I’m proving to myself I’m everything I’ve believed to be and I’m doin it on a higher level which has become a lifestyle! I look in my mirror a lot of times and I am effectively communicating with my words instead of my attitude. So what do I have planned to celebrate? My typical spa day! I am a simple gal n Aquarians don't look for fan fares n attention. I'm not a party type chick. I'm lowkey n appreciative of the love near and far by way of cash app and Nordies gift cards! I am always open to receiving my blessings :) These 40's have been off to a great start and I look forward to what FORTY WON will bring this year...hope to be around next year to keep the party goin...THANK YOU ALL for the well wishes n gifts of love. I love how yall love me!!

One of the hardest assignments I tend to freeze on is whenever I am asked to introduce myself. I know very much who I am but to articulate it is hard becuz if say too much to toot my horn, people take it as gloating. If I don't say enuff, people don't think I'm confident. How do u find the balance in letting the world know who u are n what ur about in a small amount of time as an introduction? The saying goes, u never get a 2nd chance to make a first impression so to do an intro u gotta grab the audience attention early n also leave a mystique to draw them to want more-basically...u ain't gotta tell it all. So why is being me such a task to present to you...welp! let's get to it. We are cultured to be humble. We come from humble beginnings n so as we progress we are engraved with "don't forget where u came from" becuz that keeps us humble. Let's break down the meaning tho...to be humble is to be modest in importance so anything opposite of is considered to be arrogant. Who makes this shyt up, I don't know but it's been an underrated weapon amongst ourselves n we don't even realize it. Humble n Humility have the same meaning with a difference in the grammar world. Humble is an adjective and humility is a noun which means it acts as a quality. Why is this important in today's lesson people... Becuz we deserve to celebrate ourselves out loud without having to play down our confidence. I remember when Bey came out wit "Bow Down" heaux was in an uproar becuz it's like how dare she think she's better than and above yet it was crickets when she came out wit "Ego" and "Diva" hmmm...either way I am ALWAYS here for anybody talkin they shyt n walkin in they power becuz we should definitely big ourselves up. My theme for this year is humble for what **hands on hip with a dip stance** becuz nobody knows the sacrifice and work it took for u to overcome obstacles to get to where u are today. Whether its a new job, anything related to school...goals crushed big or small-YOU made it happen! The ones who think u are boasting or doing too much are the main ones not doing enuff and it reveals themselves becuz they secretly wanna have the strength u have. Folks who are content wit playing small and settling in nothingness will have the mindset for u to humble urself becuz who are u to walk in ur power? Who does she think she is? The audacity of it all to think she's like that-TUH!! So why yes I have the qualities of humility becuz I know what it's like to go without or take a few steps back to sacrifice to move forward along with care and respect for others. I am not in the business to be humble. I love the shyt talks men do in sports and the flex of Mayweather becuz I'm sure it's no cake walk to be on the level in which they are experts so they deserve the rights to be proud. It comes off rude to some of us who can't relate so we suck our teeth at the mere thought of these kinds of people. Boastful, Arrogant, Vain...even Materialistic people don't bother me as long as it doesn't cross the line of disrespect. So how do you balance the humble n still flex the confidence? Well...take some leaps of faith becuz taking the risk with no fear of failure can challenge u and the unknown will keep u on ur toes to roll wit the punches. Stay grounded with being open to feedback. When u are vulnerable and open to being coachable u have the opportunity to work on weaknesses. Lastly, gratitude! I am thankful for the blessings I receive and I love to share. I always wanna be able to contribute and add value to people becuz I don't take their love for granted. And there's that...becuz I know my worth n don't trample people to achieve what I want warrants me to freely say...phk being humble! Encourage people to meet u where u are and don't dim ur shine n hold ur head down cuz u deserve!!

This has been weighing on my heart cuz I've been pretty observant lately. I peep it, make note n forget about it-til I keep seeing it pop up as a reminder! Some of y'all heaux is some "Single White Females" n it's upsetting to me n my homegirls lol but no really...it's creepy. I am all for inspiring..motivating and elevating-but my integrity n character will NOT allow me to copy n snatch someone's ideas without giving credit. I'm not saying we've totally invented all new shyt but there is a certain signature we all have and do where it's quite noticeable if someone else tries to "swagger jack" it. Being in the blogger sphere u get to knowing who u follow through interactions on social media n cultivate a certain relationship. There's an art to being able to pay homage to who or what inspires u-simply give credit the inspo. Imitation is defined by an act of copying. Yes, it's a form of flattery n blah, blah, blah but at what point does the promo of individuality get lost and teeters the verge of fake flattery? The inspiration for my look comes from a blogger who's style I've always admired. She's a stylist based in ATL. She totally kills it EVERY.TIME becuz she does out of the box looks that's right up my alley. She posted a look n I said OMG, I have similar pants...lemme see if I can dupe the style-yet make it my own. As you can see Melodie gave a perfect intro to #mixedprints for those who wanna dip their foot in the water. Polka dots is one of my favorite prints and pairing it with grid pants is a no brainer! This is how u pay homage. I "copied" her style yet made it my own with a splash of color. More times than not, you'll always see me toss in a hint of color when I wear black/white combos. The thing when plagiarizing someone's style is..."it's only so long fake thugs can pretend" n while I'm sure it discourages those who share their style only for it to be ripped off; I'd say DONT STOP!! Keep doin u! There is nobody no matter how much they copy with the ability to keep up with what ur doin n how ur doin it. I see how other people copy n do their inspirations no justice. Now some shyt is ka-winky-dink becuz great minds think alike but when it becomes far too often where I see it numerous times-i'm side eyeing the authenticity of the idea. I am honored when someone pays me a compliment by shouting me out to tag me in whatever I've influenced them with. I share my loves n must haves becuz there's room for all of us to be fab. We can both be seen in the streets or at an event with the same outfit n it wouldn't matter becuz I have my own self of confidence n personality to what I'm wearing that is the cherry on top! I feel there's a certain insecurity one must have to intentionally take someone's creative expression n not give props. Please be sure to follow Melodie for more fashionable lewks. It was quite fun mocking her flair n I look forward to paying more homage to you all who inspire me.

As eclectic as my style is, anything dealing with #colorblock has my attention! It's a stylish version of having a split personality lol. I toss it in the category of Cruella Couture. Surprisingly, this blazer is one of those "one of a kind" type deal which is unfortunate for y'all **cue aaaaah** but maybe there is hope for u yet if she goes into production with more... I've been ordering from Lady Mod for a while now. She puts a twist on #vintagefashion along with VIP (one of a kind) creations. This beauty was soooo slept on n awaited me to snatch it up. I've had it for a few months now anxiously awaiting this moment. Trust me...pics do this no justice. I've been sitting on these since last summer soooo yea...they sold out after being on sale ($70). The closest you'll get to this style is found here . They don't feel as tall as they look which means they are pretty comfy. I am a size 8 respectfully n got these in a size 40 (I always stick to this EU size especially for pointy toes). They paired perfectly well w/my blazer n u will for sure she me sashaying around in these again n again n agaaaain!! Have u tried the color blocking trend? The easiest way to dip into it is the default comb of black/white. It goes well with anything but kick it up a notch n add some color. I am all for color and finding this blazer which merges two of my favorite colors was the PERFECT find. I can safely say...I ain't coming off this one so good luck on finding one **evil laugh**

I just think it's funny that...**cue long random rant** I woke up on one this morning. The spirit just hit me. I have TWO sons and I want to project and reflect the highest level of a woman I want my kids to bring home to mama. Now don't get me wrong...it's STILL M.O.B. (mommy over bytchez) but I am protective of my boys n from what I observe these heaux got some work to do before they think they can pass go n collect $200 from MY BABIES!! I'd really appreciate it if we as the female species could start taking accountability of our actions or lack of when it comes to how we date and really speak on the male species we allow into our space. I know, I know, I know...it's hard to look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. Over the last decade I've been able to strip myself down n put in the WERK. Brick by brick I've built the house I stand in today n it's a constant battle with myself n petty, stubborn, dgaf side-Kisha wit an E. When I have my losses I know how to pause, reflect n regroup to identify where I went wrong. Again...where iiiiiiiiii went wrong, FIRST. I am surrounded by a lot of great men. I have good relationships of male friends n I ask them questions for understanding of how they operate, what they thinking n just overall get it from the horse's mouth how they feel about how we as women move about. To set the tone...I will admit...my mirror be dirty AF sometimes. I've learned there have been consequences to my actions through failed relationships n lack of communication. I am not perfect n everyday I wake up is a fresh start to move closer to a better me. I am merely sharing what I've learned n sharing in hopes to help someone else becuz if Kisha in her 20's had discovered this...wheeeew!!! Anyhoo...There are plenty of single honorable men who are well established with their own place and the ability to take care of their responsibilities while maintaining they own bills-oh...they can cook and clean! Wowzers right lol. So why do women always roar the infamous "what u bringing to the table" to suitors? Do we ever pause to ask ourselves what is it that WE bring to their table that doesn't involve sexual activities. I am tired of seeing how women with bad track records speak down on guys in general n the negativity of the bad apples stains over the good men who are already silent n shadowed. You can't ask a man what they bring to the table when u pulling up multiple chairs for the multiple kids n pets u wanna dump in a man lap to take care of in lieu of the many men u allowed to-ok yea I ain't gonna go there **clears throat** u can't be asking no man what they bring to the table n u don't even know how to be to urself in solitude n be patient enuff to work on trauma's that plague ur movement in the present. Why u asking what a man brings to the table when u got insecurities that keep u from discovering a good man ready to love u but u too busy worried bout clocking his every movement n mad he ain't 6'4...huh!! How cooperative are you with communicating with men where ur not yelling over them or press to prove ur point n belittle them? One of my pet peeves is hearing a female call a man a bytch! And it rolls off their tongue so freely but more surprisingly, they be having sons. I don't know about chall but I wouldn't want someone speaking to my sons in such a manner then have the audacity to ask them what they bringing to they raggedy azz table any more than if I had a daughter n a man calls them out their name. We as women have to do better n it starts with ourselves first. Now that u know better, what chew gonna do about it? Keep complaining men ain't shyt or realize there's a magnetical trait u displaying to attract the type of men that ain't shyt-OOOP! Are u projecting what u reflecting when u look in the mirror?

I am hesitant on putting this out into the universe. Why? Becuz it's apart of me cleaning my mirror. In the previous post, I started a series "How to Clean Your Mirror" and spoke on accountability. This shyt is not easy. You have to grow up n be honest with urself at some point in life n recognize a lot of shortcomings ur not proud of have been a result of ur own negligence in decision making. In today's series the topic is refinement. I grew up watching my mother show me how to be a sophisticated woman. She totally embodied classy (despite growing up in them DC streets) n I model the majority of how I carry myself in her honor. I am charged as the oldest of my siblings to be a role model and now the pressure is turnt up more with my little "cupcake"(my niece) who adores me n makes me proud when she stands tall in being herself. With turning Fo'Tee (post here ) I have been in pursuit of refinement where I am fine tuning myself towards being a better me. This has been a work in progress in which every day gives me another opportunity of adjusting my notch up in womanhood. I love reflecting my style and personality with my clothes and hair because you'll notice that before I speak. My presence upon entering a room will greet u before we meet. I get bored quick n it's why I embrace change. I couldn't dare have the saaaaame hairstyle for too long n u can never pin point what I'll do next becuz I don't even know. I go with the flow of what moves me at the time when I sit in my stylist chair. For my birthday we went with a pop of color and booooy did this shyt POP!!! I love how it came out, the color is vibrant and is everything I didn't think I'd want BUT...I quickly realized how temporary this shade would need to be. I will admit...I teeter the line at times when it comes to professional work attire becuz a lot of those "rules" of what's appropriate is outdated but even iiiii know better than to think I'd be up in the workplace with #PinkHair and to be honest, I rocked it confidently but I felt self-conscious becuz I know it's like walking around wit a LOOK AT ME hat n contrary to popular belief...I prefer to be incognito **gasp** I was minding my bidness walking into a store n some young dudes in a car honked at me. Another instance young dudes did the typical "aye girl" approach n I scrunched my face so hard u would've thought I turned into a pug! These little YBN's or NBA's got me phkd up thinking I'm some type of city girl in deez streets. The conversation we don't want to have is this... You are what u attract. The image we project does make a difference in how we are approached and specifically as it pertains to the opposite sex-WHO approaches. I can't speak for yall but let me say this **steps into my bag** when a man sees me, he must know IF he has the confidence to approach me to have his shyt To AND Gether which in a nutshell means...I'm not playing NO GAMES!! Do I look like a woman who wants an introduction from a man in a situationship? living unhappily w/a woman? irresponsible? unreliable? overall winging it with no direction of what he wants with his love life? No! Yet the pink hair might throw these dudes off becuz it could be perceived as me being the fun girl who just ready for a good time and I can assure u...I am far from that. I am a homebody, the highlight of my weekend is my morning #starbucks n wegmans run n I'm in bed by 8pm, sounds litTy right lol. Now, Now, Now...let's not act like we don't judge in some way or form when we in the market for a mate. I know I have my preferences n I'm not entertaining no grown man who walks around in his rapper couture reeking of friends wit benefits. I knew I had to go back to old faithful...the signature cut that turns me into superwoman. I have no regrets for my out of the box colors I've ever had becuz I can at least die knowing how I looked with it instead of wondering what if-had I not. I have nothing against it but for ME between my workplace (whenever we go back) n pursuit of my huuuuuzband of a certain caliber, I don't need it being a distraction or misrepresentation. So there u have it. I'd like to thank all of u for ur compliments when I take these leaps of hair changes. They've been quite fun rides I must say. I'm just aware n honest with myself to know for what I want, I can't be showing up to meet the parents or going to my husband's retirement party in bright pink hair. First impressions are critical n I can quickly be wrote off n not taken seriously based off my image-in this case; my hair. How will they ever get to know my heart if they too focused on my hair. Do you think ur image helps or hurts u when seeking a partner? What does ur presence say without u speaking when u enter a room? Does it even matter at all? What's ur take on it...do tell: leave me a comment here or social media platforms ( IG / FB ).

I have been in the makeup loving game for a loooong time and fell all the way out of love from it years ago. There's nothing I don't need wit the stash I've accumulated so I admire from afar. At this point, I only get re-ups of my holy grails becuz I don't try much of the new stuff. In my recent trip to grab some goodies, I kept it short n simple. Here's my #BeautyHaul Up first is my most expensive "splurge". One thing about me...I do NOT like spending more than $200 for perfume. I will rollerball n travel size my way through life of my favorite scents to avoid paying the 5 Gina! Every season I get a new perfume n I'm always most excited for spring time. I am a lover of florals and confession: I usually wear it all year round. When I first sniffed this at the counter I knew it had to be mine but not for over $200. I figured I'd enjoy it with a loophole. I grabbed the body spray for $100 at Nordies and the travel size for $75 at Sephora (and used points to get $10 off) so I can layer the 2. This is my first time using the body spray n I mainly wanna see how long it last. I used to be a Mac Whooooore!! Gawd I miss those days. My girls at the Nordies counter took care of me n I have VIP treatment when it came to limited edition (LE) releases. Mac was having a 25% off sale (totally unheard of back in the day) and I grabbed something for my brows: brow pencil in brunette n the brow gel in taupe. I barely have brows but tossing on some gel gives it a little pizzazz. Does anybody remember the infamous #GirlBoy brow gel...omg that shyt was EVERYTHAAAANG!!! Ugh, the discontinuance of really good products is reminding me why I strayed away **eyeroll** Where did I scroll to next...surprisingly... Ulta . I am not a fan of Ulta becuz I've been loyal to Sephora and I get overwhelmed in Ulta. Something just doesn't sit right in my shopping spirit when I can get drugstore brands near higher ends. I dabbled in here and ended up grabbing more than intended...eeeeh I'm not above goin back for pit stops in the future. I can't seem to catch Urban Skin Rx as much as folks claim in Target and the one time I did a few yrs ago it was the even toner cleanser bar which I use for dark spots on the body. No main reason I got this other than to add it into my skin routine. This is my introduction into The Ordinary and I wanted it to be this hydro acid to add it into my skincare as well to see what the hype is about. I meeeean at a well affordable price of a whopping $7, figure it can't hurt. Kicking it back to brows, Anastasia is my holy grail for brows! I was introduced to this brand early on in my love for makeup and the brow wiz makes me feel like...well...a brow wiz lol. It's a skinny pencil that allows the tiniest of stroke like hairs and I pretty much have collected majority of colors (brunette is my default) For this haul I re-up'd on caramel which is my faaaave n I normally pair it w/auburn (red) becuz they blend gorgeously n tryin the brow gel in the same shade. I've been putting this off for soooo long. Mainly becuz I slowed down wearing makeup but it stays in my wishlist. Laura Mercier is a great brand esp for the mature crowd. My sister who's a now celeb MUA (whoop whoop) swears by this. I've always used the regular translucent so I went with the same powder in Honey shade. Whew...u still there...lol, ok for the grand finale...after all this makeup is slathered on..I need something to take it off and that's where this comes in.... I am a lover of cleansing balms. I usually use Farmacy and Eve Lom which last a long time. A little definitely goes a long way and it's a full spa experience taking makeup off. I always see Candice O' Beauty raving on it n grabbed the travel size ($14) to give it a whirl. They also have a rose version I'll snatch if I see it. Welp!! Dassit...Das all. I always like seeing people's beauty hauls for the fun of it or to nudge me to also add to cart (or wishlist) to try and with Spring's arrival..they'll be plenty of makeovers so YES..try out some new shyt. The theme from my haul was focused on brows becuz with my short cut, my brows gotta be fleeky (is that not back yet lol). Let me know if any of these are things you've tried n gimme heads up on what to try.

This will be a post a little off the cusp becuz I like to plan my post but I also let the universe guide my fingers to type what's beating off my heart. I spy with my observing eye...women who are lacking confidence. I also spy with a judgey eye...women who don't take risk-as it relates romantically. For some reason we have issues in the love department n wonder why we can't get a man, keep a man, maintain a man n blah blah blah. I chuckle at those (in denial) who say "I don't need a man" becuz I struggle to open a spaghetti jar n DEFINITELY wish I had a man for those moments. Our generation has been raised with the notion of being the strong independent woman then we get so caught up maintaining our independence we forget our love lives need some type of nurturing too. You take risks more than u know but for some reason when it comes to dating u hit the wall n slow walk shyt. My love life has never been a priority for me. I know I am a special type of unicorn n I aimlessly dated about on a whim just winging it. My results of those relationships were just that-aimless. I've enjoyed the freedom of seeing em when I seen em n basically no commitment. I like change n thrive on space. I am not clingy n ain't chasing down no ring. However, we are human n require love from people; at the least companionship. I took a break from dating to focus on creating my little Toot then dipped my toe back in the game after he was born but I now have a different angle. I am not dating to be dating as I did before. I am no longer dating without a purpose. I have a clear vision on what I want n how I want it. Often times we are not direct with what we want n take what we catch on the hook to see where it goes or what this man cultivates into with hopes it falls in line with whatever we want. You skip paying attention to the red flags n invest more time n efforts only to find out...dmn another one bites the dust. Now u complaining bout u done wasted yo time-STOP IT!!! Finding love shouldn't be difficult n I for one ain't working hard for it. When u find it, it won't be confusing n there's no grey area in it. You are what u attract which is why it's imperative u do the work on urself. I'll share a little tidbit on my recent dating FAILS: I had one prospect who KNEW he wasn't ready for me but crossed the threshold n had to pause becuz I applied pressure. If u know what I'm about why would u cross the threshold to start the game? He could only offer crumbs of time n talkin bout some I gotta get my shyt together, hmph. Another prospect was "too busy" between work n his sons sports n always "wyd" me to death-annoying!! He never really asked questions in getting to know me n I wasn't about to squeeze myself into a tight schedule of seeing him once every month or so. One of my love languages is Quality Time. My other prospect I took a chance on to shoot my shot becuz closed mouths don't get fed laydeeeeez. If u are confident wit yo shyt then u should shoot ur shot where they can only say yes or yes. That didn't work out cuz he was for the streets n off some bshyt but I'm glad he made the moves he made becuz it showed me what I didn't want. A man will show his hand early in the game but u gotta be careful cuz he might hold on to that joker to cut that Ace in ur hand when u think u got a lead in the game. He flaked too many times for me which made my antenna's go up. Luckily for him...I don't have time to investigate n went off my own intuition n gut instincts to trust it. I didn't need any explanation from him verbally cuz his actions n lack thereof showed it. The Big Joker played itself. My relationship fails wasn't a waste of time. It was a lesson to clean my own mirror n better attract prospects who are ready when they get to me. I am beyond the age of "potential"and ummm I ain't no half azz bytch so they gotta know upon arrival u will NOT pass go n collect 200 if ur not aligned with what I'm looking for. I can honestly take accountability n say...I phkd up. I phkd up becuz when I dipped my toes in the water I said what I didn't want n accepted exactly what I didn't want lol. I gave waivers going off the surface of the person whereas if I stuck to my deal breakers off the top-i wouldn't of had those failures. I am a risk taker because I am not afraid to fail. I am a risk taker becuz I am confident in my movement n guided with the notion of trusting my instincts. This level of my womanhood is dangerous becuz I'm not doin the whole compromising when I've successfully put in the work to be here. I am standing FIRM in my "I don't want a man with...." rule I ain't budging. I expect him to be just as direct as well. I am learning to be better at effectively communicating becuz I am pretty much nonverbal in that dept. My tone n attitude speaks for itself but with the male species u gotta be verbal for them to understand. Learning all my do's n don'ts have been quite interesting but when u get the hang of it, you'd be surprised with how u sway the pendulum. If things ain't goin ur way in relationships, u gotta pause n evaluate to see where did they go wrong but more so where did YOU go wrong. Hold that mirror up to re-evaluate. I go into every situation with a clean slate n good intentions. My integrity n character stays in tack n so I can sleep well n move on knowing that even if it doesn't work out-it wasn't suppose to n I'm cool wit that becuz I didn't jeopardize who I am n for that...can't no man play me becuz I am confident in the woman I am as an asset sooo who's loss? Not mine!