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I started having a passion for gift giving for the male species after having Mason. As he grew up, I would pay attention to his interest and curate gifts during holidays and "just because" around what I knew he liked. As females, we grow up and get spoiled by default during all the holiday's plus some. Men get shafted so much when it comes to their time to get gifts. Women don't know how to shop for men. Why? Becuz guys don't say much, don't ask for much and we take it as though-they don't need much. Yes, they are simple creatures but u have to also INSPIRE them with gifts they didn't think they needed til they have em. Yall have to do better! TA DA!!! That's what I'm here for. I know what yo man wants n I'm here to help. It can be hard to shop for guys but I know they tired of getting yall sucky gifts they have no use for. Being surrounded by these simple creatures for so long, I came up with the idea of making "Bae Bags" which caters to gift bags for MEN ONLY becuz they are under-appreciated. This can go on forever but imma try to keep it short...Let's get started: Grooming IS important. Teaching these young king's early as possible is preferred. I've upgraded Mason from Axe to YSL (yet his room still reeks of monkey balls) n is the easiest to gift. There is nothing more appealing than a man who smells good n the perfect whiff as they breeze pass me tickles my fancy. My favorites are: When it comes to fragrance I am NOT no science teacher of nothing when it comes to the notes. My nose just knows what it likes n how it meshes on their skin-DASSIT! This Spicebomb is a no brainer pick n it comes in gift sets too. It's a clean everyday scent for guys-sure enuff to be a signature! There's an intense version for those late night type affairs but start em off with flexible scents to keep it simple. I am a huge fan of Replica's. I've gift'd bae"By The Fireplace" which is perfect for cold months. Maison Margiela has a lot of unisex scents which lean to the more woodsy sides (I am a floral lover). I accidentally tossed on Jazz Club n felt like I should've grew a goatee! This one however, Whispers in the Library had to get added to my list becuz it smells like Lionel Ritchie's song "zoom". Also note: Replica's don't come in no sets lol, u gonna have to the "pay the 5" on this one...$135 to be exact. This. Joint. Right. Here...just the thought of this cologne makes me smile n think...inappropriate things **evil smirk** As much as I enjoy Spicebomb...if you love ur man, baby daddy or REALLY care for someone on a higher level than being cordial-GRAB IT!! It's the perfect balance between a woodsy musk scent with a dash of citrus that lingers. It's a divine sniff. I wanna start Mason off with the body spray but all my life I had to fight n I'm swatting enuff floozees off now **shakes fist** Also note: Bleu De Chanel comes in 3 formula's with different levels of intensity: Eau de Toilette, Eau de Parfum, and Parfum. Just think light to strongest. The difference is in the amount of oil in them. In my opinion, the strongest (and most expensive) isn't needed. The EDP is a perfect medium-although if u wanna test to see how it fairs with his skin as a trial run; I'd start em off with the EDT. "Coming up, coming doooown, riding clean fix ur hair in my croooown-Bad Bytch, H Toooown keep it trill, yall know yall can't phk arouuuund" I couldn't help it lol. Sooo these are the fragrances of the beard oil Tom Ford offers at #Nordstrom n the only one I didn't like was the Tobacco Vanille-would not recommend! Smelled like an oil change near a skunk farm. The Neroli one is a baecation scent on a tropical island n MY PICK would be Oud Wood becuz its a rich sultry **cue any Isley Brothers song** sensual scent which is prolly one of the best oud's I've sniffed. This is for the big boys for sure. While we are talking beards...let's stay here for a sec and introduce u to Nature Boy . These are #BlackOwned male grooming products in which I've ordered multiple times. I gifted Mason's barber with their signature beard comb n he was very appreciative of such a thoughtful gift. I've referred folks here n have no complaints. This is an official grooming brand I will continue to support. They offer different gift sets as well...dad's will love em. If your dad to gift is in the #DMV I would definitely recommend Signature Barber Suites . Mr. Sinclair has been keeping Mason's hairline in tact since he needed a booster seat to hop in the chair. The reason we (shyt mainly me since I'm paying lol) remain loyal is becuz I respect n appreciate his professionalism. I bypass all those long waiting times with the typical walk-in atmosphere n he takes his time wit his craft. I've nicknamed him a Bougie Barber since his specialties offer services like Bald Head exfoliations and Elite Grooming packages to include facials and shampoo's w/haircuts to name a few. His space is a comfy atmosphere n 5 star treatment EVERY time. One of my faaaaavorite butters I keep on deck (Lovely Lavender is my FAVE)-I digress... Koils By Nature offers men's grooming products as well I've gifted in the past. This is Bae Bag approved. I love Jack Black n the price points be just right. Quality products n they come in different sets starting at $30 which is perfect for a skin care routines. I prefer to gift the sets becuz they are good for travel (and to stuff in toiletry bags ). Speaking of bags... Herschel Supply Co is THE BEST!! I fell in love with them after making them into a baby bag for my boys but since they are so practical, I got one for myself. Very roomy with luxurious lining on the inside. These bags start off around $100 n u can often times find them on sale n different designs. With outside back open, they'll be perfect carry on's but overall...u can also get creative n stuff these bags with other dad faves (listed above). These Hip Hop Diaper bags for new dads is so cute! They come with roomy n hidden compartments, zip pouch and even a usb cord section n bottle holding sections. I like the design. It's very rare to find a stylish diaper bag let alone for dad's. These are around $40 Annnnd they can also be found in Target now which is MAJOR for them!! Yall still there? Just checkin...I can go on with recommendations offline n update my list as I discover new brands n scents. We bout half way done...So let's keep it moving...on to accessorizing... Men need GOOD SOCKS!! I ain't talkin bout no cheap Hanes n nem. Quality socks that last longer than 3 washes. There was once upon a time where I didn't see the value in socks to pay more than $5 until Stance came into my life. I not only gift them to the fellas but also wear them myself. U can also catch them at Nordstrom Rack n make great stocking stuffers around the holidays. Now yall laydeeeez KNOW...good quality draws makes all the difference beneath it all. It's why Victoria's Secret is popular. Don't u think guys want quality underwear too. Calvin Klein is so classic (u can also catch em on sale around this time) n there's another brand not pictured for consideration as well named Champ Boxers that WILL bless someone's balls lol. Men don't be thinking to replace n purge they draws like that so that's where YOU can come in. Be sure to know the correct size **looks off into the skies** If you have a fashionable man in ur life such as iiiiiiii **cue swoon** then Fedora's are staples. I love finding creatives that make them n so I've found a few to share: I snagged a crown piece by Mass Creatvty for bae's 40th n it's soooo gorgeous in person. Unfortunately, at the moment she's closed until August 1st in order to catch up n fulfill orders but I can assure u these creations are worth the wait so keep this one noted to "spin the block" back (ain't that what the kids say haha) These are not just hats but statement pieces that I'd want to collect as works of art. I found this Chicago Hat Maker, Paul Hudson via another blogger chick n fell in love. Custom made n I'm prolly more excited to get one for myself than gifting it to him-one day! Father's Day is June 20th. For Father's Day, you don't have to just gift someone who's a dad. Father figures are also included. It takes a village right, so don't forget those who make a difference in ur child's life or just a great black man period. I don't believe in waiting for holidays. I like to gift randomly because I think it's important to acknowledge the hard work n sacrifice they do for us everyday. They really do have a thankless job n it's up to us-WOMEN to make sure they are also poured into to affirm them with our support. If you pay attention and listen closely, you'll be able to curate ur own "Bae Bag" for yo man n feel free to refer back here for ideas. We are at the end of my gift giving guide but figured I'd toss in an honorable mention. I was scrolling Neiman Marcus n paused at this glass. This whiskey glass cigar holder looking thingy made by Godinger. This is perfect for the distinguished n refined gentlemen n I just really thought it was a neat cigar holder with a classy effect. Again, I could go on but I'll stop here. Feel free to let me know what you'd add to the list becuz I'm sure I'll update it around holiday time **rubs hands like Birdman** Gawn head n treat that man!!

Happy MonYaaaay!! I enjoyed a lovely weekend n figured I’d share more here in detail. If you follow me on IG: @ballsofbeautyblog you know my Saturday’s kick off my weekend with a morning routine n signature song "A Beautiful Morning". My body clock gets me up about 0530a. I linger for a good half n hour but this morning something nudged me to take my morning stroll. I almost ignored this intuition but KNEW it was only right. I obliged n ran into some blessings!! After enjoying a cool n crisp stroll, I got cleaned up to really start my day which was set to be a scorcher with a heat wave. My local Starbucks can ALWAYS count on me every Sat morning before 0800a. It’s relaxing to grab my cup n linger nearby to plan out my day, along with a few flickers. Now when I make my SB runs, I am in something loungey. Caftan's are my go-to year round for errand runs (if I'm not snazzy) but I decided to also bring out my graduation gift to pair with it. I looooove this bag n fell in love with it the moment I seen stumbled upon it in the store. I was too slow on the draw n missed out initially but I stalked Nordies for it come back in stock n FINALLY grabbed it so I know it was meant to be. It's the perfect Kelly Green purse by Kurt Geiger . Although miiiiine is GONE, there are other color options like Teal n Red which would've been my plan b. Surprisingly Wegmans was NOT on my to do list as it normally is for my wknd errands. I knew we wouldn’t be home so there was no need. Oh...feel free to grab this Amazon Couture of a caftan for a whopping $23!! Instead I did some pickups at Nordies n Neiman’s in prep for Father’s Day (be sure to check out my men gift guide here ) n then headed to the “Frat House” to see my boys after battling traffic. Since Mason has a nerve to be a teen with a social life, I dropped his azz off at Six Flags n might I add the cicadas are treacherous in the #DMV !! They care not about CDC social distance regulations n felt like I got a concussion after one collided wit my forehead!! We don’t have em on my side but they greeted me comin over the bridge as they run into ur car repeatedly! **cue the birds** Ooooh for the Sabbath Sunday, I always look forward to it being my day of REST! To set the tone I hopped back over to Starbucks n becuz I’m aware of my surroundings I notice a guy who is now a familiar face after seeing him here n there over the last few weeks. Now I normally mind my business becuz I’m not in the marketplace of dating but figured I’d give it a whirl to be social to a stranger. We humans have become socially awkward n introverted so we lack social skills necessary to engage. I’ve always been a friendly person n I try to be aware of being approachable but given the climate these days, men aren’t as quick to make the first “move” becuz it’s hard to check the temp wit chall heaux these days. For a moment I felt like a dude becuz I’m sitting to myself slowly clocking him n debating if I wanna go over n talk or not. From my initial womanly scan we do to assume the stats n potential BASED ON APPEARANCE-I knew he wasn’t married n didn’t have kids and clearly lived nearby (I’ve always been a people watcher so these skills come with years of observation). In this instance, I have no fear of rejection becuz I’m not looking for a specific outcome to add him to the roster. When u lead with no expectations u can’t be disappointed n also I am confident in who I am so if I left with nothing else, it would be a good convo. So I sashay my way on over n introduce myself; not off no corny shyt cuz I have no game. Just being me is the pull n flex alone **slow wink** He gets up to accept the greeting n offers me seating (oooh gentleman-CHECK). It was the typical intro convo you’d expect n I guess his stats correctly (age, single, occupation, etc). What I have LEARNED from men (specifically Rickey) is men don’t like to feel like their being interviewed. You will find out all u need to know when u let the convo organically flow. Too often women are so eager to know everything at once u remove the process of getting to know a person by rushing. Relaaaaax n trust ur instincts. Also, give room for them to lead the way n LISTEN while paying attention to facial expressions n body language. Needless to say our meet n greet ended with exchanging info…I meaaaan come on now! Duh!! That moment of surety in myself was used for me to teach you…shoot ur shot laydeez. Go off somewhere solo n sit to observe. Men appreciate the confidence WE have to do something different. The norm is for them to initiate with us but how often do they get approached? Now I ain’t saying get on one knee to propose-NEVEEEEER!! But guys grow up getting used to rejection from women as we easily dismiss them so I can see where now they like eeeh I’m good! Is it even worth it? Hmm they LOOK like they taken n they fall back. Hell these were questions iiiii thought of so I now understand the pressure haha. Now before u try to apply my strategies…pause to MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!! This is where u check urself. Are u in the position to where u are ready for whatever this meeting may lead to (good or bad)? How would u handle rejection? A polite no thank you. Do you know how to spark a convo n stay engaged? Do u know how to be flirty, witty n cutely coy? Are you someone a man should take a chance on to get to know n why? Now n days, folks claim they want a relationship but they are not ready. Know EXACTLY what u want. I am aware of my value based on my competition n I'm realistic (which is where women struggle). I ain’t spilling all of my “ mamas recipe ” lol but u get the jist. We as women have these special abilities that I don’t see y’all taking advantage of becuz fear n insecurities hold y’all back. Break them chains!! There is something special we all possess that should be front n center to play upon in order to snag em!! I got mine…u better get churrs! So yes daaaarliiings, my weekend was full of lessons n blessings. I hope to have inspired y’all to step out the box (and get OFF those dating apps) n take a chance on goin after what chew want becuz u just might Phk around n get what cha looking for. Anybody else down to try this theory?? Let me know ur results.

OOoooh, I'm kinda liking these weekend wrap ups! While my life is far too boring for Vlogs lol, they keeping me consistent wit the content...mmm hmmm!! This weekend was full of spontaneous pop ups where I sprinkled my love during drop in's with family...and shopping! Let's rewind to FryYaaaay: I absolutely HATE shopping for jeans n it takes a minute for me to find the right pair with the right fit n look I'm goin for. These are from New York & Co n they'll do for now! I'm a fan of wide legs n the more flare the better...if yall know of somewhere to grab em, let me know! This outfit was off a whim. Someone reached out inquiring about my #FlamingoCrossbody bag n I had to decline her offer to sell it. I love collecting quirky bags so if anyone inherits them it'll be my niece. I felt a little "trade" (lol) n tossed on this ASOS's flamingo shirt from the men's section n yall know I am of the kitty heel committee lol n these are vintage Nordstrom Rack in the perfect bubble gum pink. I made a quick Neiman's run...shhhh don't tell Nordies then headed for lunch with an old colleague who celebrated me for graduation. She was actually one of the ones who stayed on my azz n encouraged me to keep pushing for my BA. Now yall know...unless ur new here...my weekends get kicked off with a Starbucks run! I actually attempted my morning walk BEFORE Starbucks but the weather tricked me n it started pouring down raining soon as I stepped out at 0530a. I had already did my weekly wegmans run n didn't need anything from target. I tossed on some comfy #loungewear n did some surprise pop ups to family! I didn't get a chance to give my stepdad his Fathers Day gift last weekend so I pulled up n reminded him, I'm forever indebted to him by the way he took care of my mom til she died. Gave him a hug I knew he needed n made my way to my brothers to sprinkle him with love. I make it my business to check up on my "guys" becuz I understand life be life'n n they can be on hustle mode so much they get lost n forget about themselves. Hard being a black man...so I heard. I just wanted to pop in n give em some of my energy n ask them if there's anything I can do to be of service n relieve some pressure whether it's a lended ear or dinner date. I even offered to swap houses wit my brother to give him a change of scenery n luxury of waking up to a quiet KID FREE home lol. Check on ur strong friends they say...also check on the guys in ur life. They won't verbally say they are not ok so use ur intuition. After sprinkling love amongst good men all Saturday...I was looking forward to Sunday for weeks after getting the invite for brunch from my girl Lorna aka LoLo who has been bae n my spirit twin since I met her years ago at a blogging event. I am not one to be against the "no new friends" rule becuz I've met some great women who've lasted longer than 90 days lol. We dined at La Vie downtown n Kiki'd over Rozay Sangria which was delish (I think that's the drink...I normally don't drink lol) My favorite dish there is the lamb chops but we were brunch'n, we did small plates n I was greedy trying everything lol. Let's just say between the food I overindulged on and the BILL...it's sautéed air sandwiches all week for me. Overall my weekend was a blast. I am normally pretty chill and IN the house but it felt good to spend chunks of time with family n friends. Moments that aren't always captured with every movement to be fully engaged n presently lost in the convo where u don't even think to look at ur phone. Girl chats are so much better and animated in person! I have no plans for this holiday weekend (wait lemme check my books), I like to space out my outside time to recharge n sit still which maintains my own sanity. I also gotta catch up with piles of clothes that need to be purged n keep my house maintained to be a tranquil sanctuary to enjoy throughout the week since I thoroughly enjoy being home. Ya never know where I might be. I could plot to make spontaneous pop ups n pull ups on yall...standby for the call; u could be next lol.

Ugh...I meant to get this Weekend Wrap Up done yesterday but definitely enjoyed the extended weekend a tad too much (and a random pop up from my boys distracted me). Nonetheless...here we are! My holiday weekend started last Friday. I am taking advantage of utilizing leave as much as possible becuz I'm making up for always overworking especially during holidays. Since I have such a life these days **cue Maury's lie detector test** let me share my world wind of fun. Come on now...ur not new here to know how the weekend kicks off. Hoooowever, if u are-VOILA!!! Starbucks jumpstarts me. I've been finding recipes on IG n came across this Cinnamon Almond Milk MockyYahToe (macchiato) which is a whopping 90 calories n taste every bit of it (since the toppings are LIGHT n the pumps are sugar FREE). Yes, I know...Dr. Miami hasn't gotten to my name on the waitlist yet. I'm building up confidence for my future "Ted Tawk" so I find a chill spot to sip my mocky n clear my throat chakras via IG stories so if u miss em...u miss the moment. My Saturday was pretty packed...with NOTHING!! I was able to loosely do my typical wknd Wegmans run with a focus of snacky foods. Purging my closet has been taking longer than anticipated. Ugh...who knew I'd have such a hard time departing from freaking clothes but...it's **cue tossing dress** coming along **cue taking dress out the pile** slowly...but..surely! Just keep me in ur prayers! My goal is to dwindle my stash down to classic/timeless pieces that matures with me. That's the politically correct way of me saying...I need to be able to fit everything in ONE closet n not spill shyt over to Mason's. Luckily for the sake of this post...I had a life on Sunday! I took a trip to one of my favorite spot of MD where I can get lost n enjoy being awaaaay from the crowds of DC. The weather was perfectly not sweltering hot n I enjoyed a day to self with frolicking in Downtown Annapolis where I hope to reside later in life. I've never had a problem enjoying good eats n going places solo! Hell I like me so I know imma have a great time. The views n calmness of being around the water never gets old to me. Since I went off a whim, I didn't have a specific spot to eat in mind. There's so many to choose from but I wanted something light and SEAFOOD!! My feet led me to Pusser's Carribean Grille where I got some skimpy oysters (they must've been vegans) n a soft-shell crab sandwich. What do I do while dining to self? People watch! Make up their lives n how they sound in my head based off how they look lol. I play catchup in the DM's on social media, scroll here n there then enjoy the scenery. After lunch I enjoyed along the water where I wondered where I need to be hanging to mingle n make friends WITH boats...I went to hit the town. Now yall KNOW I prefer to be out n about as EARLY as possible but since I was being so spontaneous, it was after 2p and unbeknownst to me, there was some type of festival event shindig happening **cue anxiety of too many people**. The streets are only but so spacious (for my liking) n it was just a hoard of folks including them slow walking azz kids wit fist dripping of ice cream as they held the cones. I stopped in a hat place called Hats in the Belfry . I'm not even a hat person but I do love fascinators and the window tugged on my heart. After not wanting to spend $100+ for a hat, my sweet tooth kicked in as I was headed back to the car. I stopped at Vanderwende which is located in the tuck nearby a a lobster roll spot. I got my childhood favorite flavor as a default since I couldn't pick-Rocky Road!! After satisfying the sweet tooth, it was time to head on home. This is where I got humbled. The cool weather felt like it got cranked up by ten degrees as I walked further away from water n the shade of trees. My phone is dangling off ONE percent...ONE and I have a horrible memory soooo I forget where I park **cue horror scream** I'm trying to look for the feature on my phone where it tells u where u parked n NOTHING. I can't think of nere nothing I parked close to where I can use it as a landmark n I just felt myself walking in the wrong direction n further away until I paused to take a deep breath. I doubled back in my phone (nervous it would cut me off any minute) to check the location of earlier pics taken. After that...instincts led me the rest of the way n my memory kicked in. Thank Gawd for Deja Vu huh lol. Of course I enjoyed fireworks later that night and DC surely FORCED me to enjoy an extensive show that lasted WELL AFTER...and I do mean WELL (emphasize it to the tenth power) a marathon of fireworks. Then BAM!! Just like that...its back to work!! When is the next holiday again? Crazy to think we are HALF way through the year...just wow!! I had a great weekend...extended weekend...a gal can get used to this!

Back in my younger years, I would flex my independency n be mouthy. Mouthy becuz I was "grown" n set in my ways but also I've been on my own since my mama died n well...being a rebel wit a cause (which was really no cause) had me reckless. I did listen to my elders to a certain degree becuz I never wanted to seem like I had it all figured out. I'm always open for gem drops from old wise ones. Fast forward to today...my tongue is still sharp but I'm not as quick to whip out no razors becuz I've learned the Art of Shhhhh. There are times where I bow out gracefully for short periods of time on social media to be productive in other areas. Yall know it can be a rabbit hole at times. With such an overload of any n everything goin on in the world...I need stillness. I look forward to my random walks throughout the day to be one with my thoughts n process what the heck be goin on. I need time to think my moves over n not overthink em so I take a step back from chatter n influences for some balance. My communication classes been paying off lol. I'm enjoying listening more n speaking less. The less is actually more and one day I'll just be a ventriloquist lol. Ya knooooow.... We tend to have the need to be so right all the time n the hunger of getting the last word. It's truly not worth it. I am much better at just being observant n activating chill mode which results in less stress n drama. Some folks feeeeed off swirling in pools of chaos becuz they have no life. Look at em...peep their lifestyle. Pay attention to what n who they surround themselves with and pause to assess how and IF u should respond. The danger in reacting off emotions will have u going back n forth and depending on how mad u get; u say things ur unable to take back. The intent to hurt someone is childish but in the brawling game, ur fighting to win. At what cost tho? There are some hills not worth dying on. In the moment of the argument, we blurt out whatever comes to mind and we ain't thinking logically. Why...cuz being emotionally driven leaves ur tongue being uncontrollable! I'm at the point where I don't care enuff to give the energy for banter and as much as I looooove the satisfaction to flex my expertise-u can have it. I had to learn to put my dk up n step down from my masculine lol. That shyt is tiring sheesh!! I tossed the razor from my mouth (remember Tupac from Above the Rim lol) n swapped it for sweet serenades or MUTENESS. U gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em. Know when to walk away. Rise above! Learn how to kill em wit the shhhhh. As my girl Eb says "silence is sexy". There's no need for me to go back n forth with anybody becuz disengaging is the real win. U know how strong u gotta be to have soooo much to say n just walk away. The power of knowing when to STFU is a battle not many can overcome. It knocks dudes off their square to where they go into "beta" mode lol and it also makes women look combative. Do u really win or lose playin that game? Folks that got real shyt going on n productivity happening...ain't got tiiiime for the banter. Take a walk...put that energy elsewhere n enjoy the good life.

I've had a fascinating weekend. I set aside time to self becuz I always feel some type of way during my kids birthdays. I get all emotional preparing for their plus one each year. Although I am 15 years in the game now, it's hard to be watching another one grow up before my very eyes so fast. It really does feel like just yesterday I was wheeled into Labor n Delivery with my heart racing in anticipation of bringing this dream baby to the finish line. After all the heartburn n restless nights, 38 wks later-FINALLY...my last hoorah would be earth side. And just like that, my little Toot Toot was cut out into the world n made me a mom again! If ever u need to brought up to speed on how this came to be; feel free to dip back to some vintage balls dropped: 2019: Pregnant After 35 the start of journaling my last hoorah 2018: A Tale of Two Babydaddy's for a quick intro of our love affair 2017: Shyt Nobody Talks About regarding our loss before Toot Maybe some time this year I'll revisit these myself n do a finale post to tie it all together. To have taken on this role for reasons outside of myself has been rewarding. Our modern family has been expanding n locked with this bundle of joy. Reflecting back on the journey n to see where we are today, it was totally worth it. I always say, if I were younger I'd do it again. In such 3 short years, I've grown so much through rejuvenated eyes and a refreshing heart by way of this little boy n his adorable-ness gets me every time. I love that lil' ol' boy. My Lil Toot is a whole THREE yall. He definitely has love in an abundance n his terror tot-ness **eyeroll** tests my patience. I just know with how fast time is flying, I wanna enjoy these tiny moments as long as possible. I'm fascinated by his development n awareness to express himself (sometimes too much) and my boys are really doing a great job. It feels good to dip in the frat house to check on em n sprinkle some feminine energy in the place. To see him n Mason interact when he calls him "brother" n babble a full convo in his room is hilarious. I remind Mason he has great responsibility being the elder becuz he'll naturally look up to his big brother. My last hoorah...wow!! I'm blessed to see the day n look forward to many more. Just know if any more kids come out-they ain't mine!! My 2 boys are handfuls enuff lol.

This has been the coziest most chill weekend and I am LOVING it. Here is where I get in my winter baby bag n enjoy being home becuz its just too cold to be outside. A quick Wegmans run to prepare for the snow storm n learning stillness has done my soul some good. There was once upon a time I turned my nose up at being boring n now I welcome it. Sitting my azz still keeps me out of trouble esp financially lol. The year started off a tad rough with inclement weather n trying to find a balance in a routine has been difficult. We gonna get it together tho. I've been deliberating with myself to put some actions behind these intentions n fully focus on constantly bettering myself. Reflecting from my weekend... “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Speech at Park-Sheraton Hotel, 1962 I recently had an outing with a "stranger" I met via another "stranger" I only know via IG. Sounds weird right lol but I have been heavily protected with cultivating long lasting relationships with people I've met outside of the norm. There's something special with connecting with like-minded souls via ur phone and anticipating the infamous link up to where u just CLICK!! I know people have trust issues n we've been so traumatized by past stings so there's a block we put up when it comes to meeting new people. We don't know what the intentions are n for some reason we ponder...why they so good to me? I've grown to declutter n trust with a discerning heart of others. You can't truly listen to ur heart if u are so focused on the negative n possibilities of what isn't even present. We talk ourselves out of stepping in faith too often instead of trusting our judgement. The change in mindset has served me well n I am grateful for my "strangers". Yall have really rejuvenated my life in ways that confirm I am so covered. I don't just exchange numbers with just anybody becuz I value my time n anything beyond social media is very real to me. "Hate is too great a burden to bear. I have decided to love." Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.,"Where Do We Go From Here?" speech, 1967 Within this chapter of my life, my friendships in the land of sisterhood is important to me. I am not recruiting but letting the universe guide itself in whatever way it should be fostered. There's this unspoken agreement where we know life happens but make it our business to tap in here n there to let each other know we are on the minds. I love that for us! My girls collectively have been amazing and we value each other in many ways to where the support is there. I say all this to say...the relationships we have with each other is an underrated richness everyone should strive to have. There's no heaux left behind in my camp n we all utilize each other as resources n voices of reason. As this post swirls n relates to quotes of the late Martin Loofah Da Kang...choose love! Choose to walk in honor of and represent each other in the best light possible. Whenever someone speaks in a space of hurt, I am a listening ear. Just know when u coming to chat n speak in a space of fear n scarcity that's where the buck stops for me becuz I know the potential u possess n we don't operate in nothing half azz. Thank yall for taking the leap n also trusting me...that I aint no serial killer **kicks zip ties under bed** cuz we all be taking chances these days n to welcome the greater possibilities of positivity is what motivates me to continue my walk in the land of abundance!

As I was combing through my vintage blogspot , I was reminded of a post that I took great pride in creating...does anyone remember my Blogazine in 2020? I worked on it for many nights n days after the idea came to mind. I love how it came out and wanted to move it over here into this space which sparked another idea I have for this year (in which I hope comes to fruition). If you ever have an idea that keeps tapping u on ur shoulder, DO IT!! We have so much creativity n ideas bottled in our heads but the difference is those who Do and those who Do-Do! I am good with brainstorming. I gotta see my vision on paper so I can prioritize n hit small goals that turn into big goals. Translate ur plans becuz a lot of times we just talkin n it never translates into what we can see. For me...I know I gotta get to more do'in. There are many resources and people who know people that know people to where we can network n work together to refine what we got going on. We can NOT do this n be successful alone. Although I'm talkin to u, I'm really talkin to myself as well. I want to be more proactive n jump! I have so much idle time now that I have completed not one but TWO degrees n I have no excuse. I completed my blogazine in the midst of completing one of those degrees and during the holidays. Yall...I was grinding and it felt so good to have completed this project becuz I am good to procrastinate n talk myself out of shyt. Have u ever heard of analysis paralysis ? feel free to google but its basically OVERTHINKING!!! Also a good article on it- here ! We fear more about making the wrong decision or trying to be perfect which holds up back. I have a passion for this n I need to start moving n investing like it-more! I leveled up my blog space, I took taking pics serious with MAKING TIME to do so. Where I started? I can cringe all day when I look back on the beginnings. No clue on what I was doin or how. This is the beauty of it all tho' becuz look at me now. If I really wanna get deep, I can tell u the person in the photos from back then was operating on low vibrations n looked pretty on the outside yet it wasn't close to matching how she felt inside-I am NOT goin there today...this ain't that kinda post. What I am sayin is...u are worth the investment n chase of the passion n u can be successful in completion. Create ur own opportunity if needed. What's ur work ethic lookin like? Look at the success of the greats. The goat-iest of goats utilized their "free" time to pursue their dreams. Yes, they'll be plenty of no's n obstacles to block along the way n it shouldn't be any excuse as to whyyyy u can't break thru em like a pimple on healthy skin. Now that I've pumped myself up...I might even add a follow up blogazine to this year...hmmm...let me know what you think of the First Edition. **CLICK THE PIC**

Ooooh yall remember interludes on albums back in the day **closes eyes to reminisce** Some of our favorite artists had creative interludes. Mine was Faith Evans (I could be bias tho), Doggystyle, n Janet's to name a few. As we progressed interludes turned into "skits" in the early 2000's. Nonetheless, interludes were perfect teasers! Short, quick n to the point. Alas...this post. I wanted to piggyback from the previous post: A Passionate Planner where I shared my 2022 books to keep me organized for the year. I wanted to share some quick tips on How To Use Your Planners with a method to my madness. Becuz I like to really dig in, I set the mood with a full production ONCE a week to review n update my planners. I need them to mirror each other as much as possible n I randomly jot down notes here n there or transfer info from post its to the book. Light a candle n get cozy! I like to use multi-colored pens n color code accordingly, for example, I might use red for budgets, pink for events, green for deposits n purple for TBD or reminders. I'll have a smooth jazz or RnB playlist lingering in the background n relax w/a drink. I typically "plan" in the am so more than likely...it's coffee but if its anything after NOON; I'm not above a glass of wine lol. I typically plan 2 months in advance cuz my life is subject to change **hair flip** and this also allows me to budget accordingly. Since both have different features, I set deliberate time to maximize the use-hence making the moment a full production. Writing my daily or monthly tasks keeps me accountable. I know I am gonna "check my books" every day so I can glance at what is coming up or what I need to follow up n confirm. I have wishlists in here n ideas for gifts throughout. Overall, this has become part of my #SelfCare routine n it's yielded great results in keeping me on schedule. It may take a while to build up to this "extreme" but per the title-this is a luxurious way to treat urself. It's been a calm to my storm n part of intentionally showing up for me.

One of my favorite books to tote around is a daily planner. I am famous for writing a "to do" list everyday especially when I'm in the office becuz I can prioritize n stay on task throughout the day. When someone requests my time or day; I am quick to respond with "let me check my books". While I'm sure many find it quicker to just jot down important dates in their phones they keep handy; there's something in writing it to SEE that helps me retain events. This year, I decided to buckle down on being even more organized n grabbed TWO planners to suit my lifestyle n act as spiraled assistants. This is my introduction and first planner from La Femme Luxe Life as it came highly recommended. It's simple yet chic and I love it. I've already cracked it open and began to jot down my life for this month. This will be my main planner which will stay either at home or work. I love the hard cover of planners. Makes em sturdy and this one comes with a luxurious dust bag-so luxe! I like to see my months from a birds eye view then use the weekly sections for random notes throughout the month. If your looking for a size great for on the go...THIS is it. It's not bulky and also comes with this gold pen-writes like a dream. There are other valuable features such as a monthly dashboard for dates to remember, goals and a quick to do list on the page. In between each month there's a small section to make wellness goals and even a tracker for a 30 day challenge. This has definitely been my main planner since receiving and gets utilized throughout the day for updates. Book'd & Busy is my 2nd planner and my 2nd year of grabbing one. I enjoyed last years so much I knew I wanted to hop on early for pre-sales n have it at the top of the year. The one last year came with a dust bag (which will be used for the new one) while this year it came in a gift box. Now this planner is bulkier. I carry totes so size ain't a biggie for me! It also has more features with stickers n bookmarks to make planning more detailed n fun. There are 3 versions to accommodate ur lifestyle n a quiz to see which suits u best. I skipped doing the Deluxe last year and to be honest, u can't go wrong with any of them; however, if ur a newbie to this...the one I have is a safe bet. There are quirky additions in the book like a monthly social media calendar and brand personality worksheet amongst a host of other features I'm sure you'd enjoy. I have yet to really start n dig into this one yet becuz I need to really set the mood to enthrall myself into the book. Do I wanna partake in the vision board inside? Ponder my bucket list? Whatever the case maybe...I gotta spend extra tiiiiime on this one and have it mirror my Femme Luxe on for the month. I am also transitioning important notes from last years to this one as well. While 2022 has started off a tad rocky...these planners are motivating me to kick organizing into high gear. My life is within these pages and more reliable to me than storing my visions and upcoming appearances in a phone-especially when the phone dies lol. Are u a planner lover? Do u effectively keep monthly notes digitally or by paper? I am always open to tips n tricks on anything planning :)

Well...Well...Well...2021 has come to a close and I hope you enjoyed my series of the Best of 2021 as it had me cheesing to harken back to the great moments from last year. I have no complaints. There are a lot of folks that didn't make it. I still can't believe Earl (DMX) and Omar (Michael K.) are no longer here...even Betty White wasn't able to make it pass the buzzer-sheesh! The "Omarion" got folks dropping like mixtapes n I feel like I know more people sick wit whatever form of vid now than when the pandemic started. Honeychiiiiile, I am staying out the way. Despite the heartache and lost ones, 2021 served me well. I was blessed to be able to thrive more than ever during a time where people had to downsize or start fresh in areas of life. Like wow...I used to say I'm not worthy but knowing the value of high regards I hold myself to...I AM!! Before I get into this finale...let's do some housekeeping: Make sure u are subscribed to keep up wit these balls dropping. I have been what these heaux complain men ain't...CONSISTENT with keeping my word n dropping once a week. I am now looking to advance to twice a week (saying it out loud to hold myself accountable) Feel free to share! No need to be stingy becuz we need to flourish together. No heaux left behind-although I do realize...not everyone can keep up but at least u brought the horse to the water. Follow me on ur socials; yall know I'm mainly on IG where the stories be LitTy. I'm not as active on twitter cuz laaaawd it's already more than enuff keeping up with FB/IG. I may need to do a housekeeping tag every so often of a post...remind me lol. Now back to our regularly scheduled program. Where was I...aaaah yes...2021; it taught me how resilient I am. Being in this creative space isn't easy and I made myself push thru when I didn't have energy to do so. Starting with my blog. I knew I needed to step my game up n I challenged myself to drop balls once a week. I DID IT!!! Hell...I surprised myself. See...the thing is, u either gonna do shyt or talk shyt. Anybody can just chatter but the separation comes with action. I definitely stuck to my theme: 2021: Year of No Expectations and it worked out pretty good. I never expected to get the opportunities to attend in the manner of which I present myself-VIP style! To accept invites to judge at the DMV Full-Figured Pageant and utilize my opera glasses for the Sassy Jones Fashion Show came out of left field for me. It was a gentle reminder that u never know who's watching and why I stress to dress how u want to be addressed. I have elevated myself to step into a life of abundance and I am loving it here. I have truly seen a difference in the outcomes that occur in my life by which I carry myself in the form of how I feel. Controlling the narrative by way of couture-ness gives me leverage the average heaux doesn't have becuz I choose to go the extra mile. As a blogger-this is my brand. I am a walking billboard and I can't be talkin shyt n not walkin like I talk it. My dress down is still dressed up n at this point, I do it to keep myself boosted n it feels good. This mindset n concept has opened a lot of doors for me and I'm snatching all the privileges. If ever u need a life hack...just follow my lead **wink** Part of elevation and living the life of abundance means...ur circle changes. Some people fall off as u taking off n I've grown to accept being ok w/those losses. We tend to hold on to things n folks who don't serve us nor mean us well due to loyalty and knowing them over a length of time. Stragglers will not allow u to prosper. Cut them dead ends as quick as u cut a ngga who don't text back in .006 seconds! I rely heavily on my sisterhood of girls comprised from day one's to recent one's and kiki'in in the DM one's. They are all equally loved. We have our girl chats and have no problem calling each other out like...wayment...bytch u know u ain't right. I cherish our intimate moments where no pics are taken or posted. Having the ability to speak at Kanesha's Rose Brunch showed me the importance of a support system. To think she thought enuff of me to add value to her brunch meant a lot to me. We always connect n network with the intentions of helping each other instead of the politics of how can I use this person to get ahead. I can attest to knowing the energy of love I exude is what I have been attracting with networking and collecting a beautiful tribe of women. I never expected to grow a host of women that pour into me and remind me of my worth when I tend to deny myself n even question my abilities. Yall keep me motivated more than yall realize. I have a sense of proudness to know yall think so highly of me n I just don't wanna let chall down. To have folks mention u and refer u to people that lead to opportunities is an honor. The opportunity to guest n co-host for Wine Down Wednesday was fun! It taught me to take the leap and trust the process. The universe is gonna reward u with what u ask for as long as u are putting in the work. The practice that I've been doin which is showing up for myself by just taking the leap of faith n building it as I fly-nothing is perfect n there's never a "right" time. U gotta just do it. My superpower has been the ability to be open to change. Sometimes I wanna stay in my comfort zone but I know there's greater success on the other side of the mountain when I push myself n Geronimooooo head first. The way this year flew by...what are u waiting for cuz time ain't waiting for shyt. Since turning 40...oh lordie. ..I have been in such a great space of my womanhood. The confidence level is up n stuck. I sleep well knowing I treat people right and move with intentions to do right and exercise kindness. Doing things that bring me joy such as maintaining my self-dates every Saturday morning at Starbucks n tossing in some IG stories with sharing random thoughts is my source of happiness. Doin what I love without the stress n pressures to keep up n compete becuz there's only one me. If u rock wit it, u rocking n if it's not to ur liking; there's no pressure to stay. I ain't press to please everybody and that's why I benefit from utilizing this blog space to splurge on the freedoms I have here. I wanna thank me for all the lessons 2021 has taught me and the accomplishments made. I had noooo idea aka expectations of rewinding n recapping with all that I've done this past year. Wow!! Who would've thunk it. What will 2022's theme for me be n what will I look to scratch off the list next? I have no idea yet, I'll deliberate on that over the wknd. What I do know is...I am open to receiving my blessings-always!!

If you've been following my Best of 2021 Series...dmn...I'm rolling...you have seen me conquer my fears of public speaking to being a judge for a pageant and enjoy VIP treatment as a guest for a fashion show. Creating this series has been done with a huge smile as I type to relive the moments. On this episode (lol), I'm gonna bring it back to a personal goal I didn't even take serious until it became-personal. It was a long time coming and to make it to the finish line during a pandemic at that was no small feat. I have taken great pride in this accomplishment and I wanna thank me... I totally get it...we all don't wanna brag n be humble becuz u don't wanna come across as if ur rubbing it in someones face. U downplay accomplishments n blessings so those with lesser than don't feel some kind of way and we have such a heart cuz we wanna see fit EVERYONE gets what their hearts desire. Well guess what...if u are someone who receives positive messages, luxury unboxing's, success and announcements as braggy or showing off-YOU are the one with jealousy in yo heart n seems to be a personal problem YOU choose to not have ambition and/or motivation to make shyt happen...aka not my problem! **cue getting in my muthaphkn bag** This past May, I graduated with my Bachelors in Communications after grabbing my Associate's in General Studies- Ooops I Did it Again !! Yup!! When those meme's to hype us up with the "last year it was xyz n this year its personal"hit, I made it just that-personal. Yall know the story and struggles to grab these degrees (if not, hit the link above) and I call it personal becuz it was not for professional advancement. Growing up, my dad STRESSED the importance of college. My mom was like mmmm...meh. While my friends were goin away for college, I stayed home n got a job then took classes part time. Although my dad would mention being ready to pay for my schooling, he decided not to becuz I chose to go to a community college and in his words "I could wake up n decide not to go" at any given moment (oh, the irony in the statement n how it boomerangs makes me chuckle). My mom took out a loan for my first semester and becuz I couldn't afford to keep goin...yes-I woke up n decided to no longer attend. I didn't even realize the resentment I had towards him as I watched him pay for my other siblings education until I graduated-BY MYSELF!! In true older sibling form, I kept it pushing which is why those early lessons taught me: nobody owes u shyt. Whether it was a gift or curse, I learned to not depend on anyone n made a way or get it out the mud as the kids say. My degrees are not make or breakers for my career becuz I have extensive experience (thanx to being a college drop out lol). My advice to the younger generation-get chew a cert/trade and make urself valuable with experience through the ranks. I think the college experience fresh out of high school is great for kids to meet people outside their local vicinity and learning diversity is helpful in the working world. For me...if I'm not going for anything in the STEM field or trying to be a lawyer or doctor-I wouldn't. I have general n basic degrees and at 40...I dmn sure ain't taking no math and I'm in the admin field on an executive level soooo what in the hell is a master's gonna do when I'm at the top of my game. We all know folks with degrees where they do occupations opposite of. My dream job was actually to be an investigator (I grew up loving crime shows) and my plan was to get a degree in Criminal Justice then I learned the way around a degree to get to the position would be to start off as an officer. Life has many ways to skin a cat and success is what we see fit. I understand the old school mentality and wanting stability of sitting behind a desk becuz these baby boomers were conditioned to work-work-work! Phk ur feelings n fulfillment of happiness which is written all over their faces as they gear up to retire lol. Yes, I did it for my babies. I more so did it for myself. The most expensive way to prove might I add, lol, that I can finish something after procrastinating so much. I did it...I made it...I conquered and didn't let laziness n procrastination defeat me. This was definitely one of my best moments of 2021 and while I didn't get a chance to walk the stage again, I can relish in when I did just two years prior. That's good enuff for me! I love how my story has inspired others and being able to complete my goals with yall rooting for me. Working with scientists n engineers helped me struggle thru my initial math classes n yall kicked me off social media when u knew I was slacking. I love how yall love me!! It takes a village and still... I wanna thank meeeee!! I wanna thank me for not quitting, I wanna thank me for being able to preach to Mason about finding the strength to dig deep with his studies becuz I was able to do the same. I showed myself...it can be done! Emphasis on the DONE cuz honeychiiiiile. But yea...Imma talk my shyt, loud n proud n u should too. No matter how big or "small" the accomplishment, your success story is just that-YOURS and u don't need to diminish ur shine for nothing or nobody when u worked ur azz off n cried rivers to get there. Hell...I wanna thank me more often.