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A lovely lesson learned this year...yall are totally crazy for wanting to hear me across radio waves and even crazier DJ Shane himself took a chance on lil' ol' meeee. Nonetheless...there's been no fines n cancellations of any kind lol. So how did I end up rocking the mic...again, minding my business when I received an invite to be a guest on The Underground Lab's "Wine Down Wednesday" I bytch'd up like wait...huh...who? me? I just never look at myself to be interesting enuff for radio. After careful deliberation, I said sure why not. In reality...the closer we got to showtime the more nervous I became. What if I stutter? What if I say some shyt to offend folks? What if I accidentally let it slip I still listen to R. Kelly...**cue horror scream** I am no public speaker so "umm" and "uuuh" and "like" are sure to fly out cuz I am trying to process thinking before I talk on a LIVE show lol. I took a deep breath n just let it flow. The hosts made it a safe space and I was comfortable where I let my shoulders rest and enjoyed the conversation along with listening to music to "wine down" to-yall know I need anything JODECI and Phyllis Hyman in a chill playlist. After my cherry was popped, I felt a sigh of relief n proud of myself for taking the leap (or more like tossed off the diving board). This is crazy becuz I was thinking to myself...I am getting what I asked for. I'm flattered to have people speak of me highly in rooms I am not in and it taught me to get my shyt together. I can't be outchea begging for blessings n dropping balls being unprepared when the opportunity comes. They liked me so much, they invited me back a few times and I just couldn't say no to Shane! It's been a fun ride. I get more comfy and let my personality seep out with being on the mic. The behind the scenes are definitely litTy and we overall have a good time. The topics I've been speaking on as the residential dating specialist (I totally just freestyle'd that lol) LOL-I totally am NOT; but I speak on the dating scene from what I observe since #CuffingSeason had started along with random questions I be posing on my Facebook page. Exhibit A: Smile Bytch and we discuss the topics to get some understanding amongst the sexes aka Mars vs Venus. Since my appearance...I mean appearancessss-PLURAL **tee hee** I've been toggling with the idea of giving into the many requests (all less than ten of yall lol) to fancy yall to hear my voice more often whether with a podcast or co-hosting here n there. Yall know my weakness is the consistency part and keeping up with churning out content. Creators DO have writers block at times-least I do. I go through my creative phases in waves. I got like a solid 5 posts in the tuck I've yet to toss out and I struggle with pushing thru during the times I'm just NOT feeling it. So...we shall see..ya never know what 2022 can hold for ya girl but I definitely appreciate the love, support n push to come out of hiding and into the spotlight; it makes me cheese really hard n it means a lot-Thank YOU!!!

As we keep this series for the Best of 2021's rollin...I must say; it feels good to relive these standout moments from the year. Looking back, I'm like...wow...how was I ever so lucky. These opportunities seem to just fall into my lap. I had randomly received an email from a representative of Sassy Jones n had to scratch my head becuz I had never heard of this boutique before and-I thought it was spam lol. I was thinking wow, these scammers sure know how to get my attention with such an elaborate invite-VIP nonetheless! After doing research, I learned-oh ok...this is legit and made SURE she knew I accepted and very much looked forward to the opportunity of my VIP-ness attending the show. Never thought the pressure of attending was...WHAT TO WEAR **cue horror scream** It's like omg...what do I wanna convey when I walk through the door n how do I want my style to represent me. It's a freaking fashion show...emphasis on the SHOW so u gotta come with ur A game. I grew up being IN the show n figured it would be less pressure being a spectator-NOT!! Well...maybe for me. Since I did my research on Sassy Jones brand, I had an idea of how to put together a #lewk which is mature (cuz I'm tired n bored of the infamous "grown n sexy" term) + chic + comfy + expressive. I already take my presentation seriously. I also take a VIP invite just as serious becuz they clearly see something in me to be apart of their moment n I wanna represent them well. I wanted to give Perch Couture daaaarling! Perch Couture deets of what was gave: Dress: Farm Rio Clutch: @shopvintageboutique on IG Shoes: Converse (run star hike) Now on to the show...for this to be Sassy Jones FIRST fashion show...I must say...I was truly impressed. The venue was at Richmond Main Street Station where you're surrounded by glass for city views and a glimpse of trains as they pull into the station. Legit looks like a moving picture! After mingling in the VIP lounge, you moved on up to cocktail hour and seen all the beautiful attendees who got dressed to impress. Once the runway show started I was fully entranced by the models who showed off the garments with fierce struts. There was also a special segment to honor cancer survivors in which she has a foundation for n the models shared their stories via screen then walked out boldly in celebration of life. After the show was shopping time. The live models put in overtime to be on display for us with a private shopping experience and exclusive wear. The energy n support from the crowd made the experience so much fun and we couldn't keep a smile off our faces from excitement. Enjoy the slide show The excitement of it all. HUGE THANK YOU to the Sassy team for the invite to experience the extravaganza of it all. My aligned stars are strategically placing me in rooms I need to be in to mingle with dope people. People came near and far just to support Charis and. her fashion show. I learned more about the brand and the team who glue everything together. More fashion shows for me pleeeease **crosses fingers** and maybe a cameo of me coming out of retirement-who knows!!

Earlier this year, one of my goals was to jump out there and conquer my fears. I wanted to get in front of the camera more n allow my voice to be heard. Contrary to popular belief; I am shy! I knoooow....I know-u agree!! Hear me out tho...I am far a better writer than saying shyt out loud. I find it hard to express my TRUE in person personality with anything being recorded on LIVE. I have enuff self-awareness to know I have no filter majority of the time n although I lack phks-I do tend to have some cares. Growing up my friends labeled me the comedian but I don't be trying to be funny. I've watched enuff comedians growing up to know, there is a skill to the art. You have to be able to read the room, know ur audience n stand in confidence to deliver the message. Delivering the message is where my knees shake becuz depending on the ear (receiver) my message can be misconstrued n I wanna be respectful yet realize-u can't please everyone. Public speaking just ain't my thaaaang. Intimate settings I can share n preach all day in the moment becuz I can rely on the audience knowing me. So I tossed it out there silently on how I need to step out of my comfort zone n let the universe do its thang. My good friend, Kanesha started a brunch in honor of her mother, Rose. She has an AMAZING story of being adopted and later finding her birth mother. The crazy part is, we worked together during the time she conceived the idea to find her mom so to watch it unfold and anticipate the reunion had even me emotional. I was invested as if it was me on the hunt lol. They were able to reunite and form a relationship before she died. What a blessing! It was one of the biggest examples of forgiveness I ever witnessed in real time. I am petty n held grudges for a long time and to see how Kanesha was open n willing to move pass her mama's choices n extend some grace to enter a foreign relationship with a clean slate is admirable. She has always been the calm to my storm working together because she has the softest demeanor n sees the great in it all. Luckily even after I left the fire dept she's stuck around for the rollercoaster rides of our friendship (never a down in a bad way) so when she not only invited me to brunch but also asked me to be a speaker...I was honored n couldn't say no to someone who NEVER says no to anyone else. This isn't the first Rose Brunch. She held one a year before the pandemic so I was excited to hear it was on n popping for this year. She put a lot of blood, sweat n tears into making sure this event was put together in honor of not just her mother but to represent a sisterhood. She handpicked us all to attend and made it a solid VIP cut of FIFTY gorgeous women. Full Review: YOU SHOULD BE HERE!!! Throughout the process as it kept growin, I suggested for Kanesha to get ready to start looking for Rose's Brunch to grow n search for larger venues. This is no rave becuz I know her personally. She simply deserves all the brags n praises because u don't realize how much this event was needed until u leave with such fulfillment and let the love marinate. One of my favorite brunch spots: Blackwall Hitch of Alexandria, hosted us with our private deck up top. We were reunited with familiar faces n met by new ones, nonetheless, everyone meshed as if we grew up together n played catch up. The laughter n tears. I needed my Candace #RHOP triangle napkin to dab a few times as my eyes prespired. I am happy to relive one of the best moments of 2021 because it forced me to be a speaker. Like hold up....girl u know that ain't me but yall rooted for me like no other. I actually practiced n brainstormed leading up to the moment n was nervous as hell. It was good practice tho. What did I speak on??? Ya should've been there haha. Being apart of this significant event solidified for me-THIS is the type of shyt I wanna be involved with. These are the types of events I wanna be associated with. Everyone looked so pristine as they adhered to the dress code: ALL WHITE. Yall know I am "picky with my presence" and THIS is the type of event I will forever attend not just to support but coordinate as needed because it's a cause I believe in. Speaking of cause...it was announced...**cue confetti and screams** It's official...she coined Rose Brunch with an LLC!! I am oh so proud of my sister girl n to see her idea come to fruition n watch it grow. Also huge hugs for allowing me to step into the speaking slot as she seen it fit for lil ol' meeeee to drop gems n share with our sisters. Definitely great practice and I appreciate the feedback. Now THIS is true women empowerment.

Growing up I would watch pageants in awe of the parade of ladies from everywhere. Miss USA, Miss Universe and local Miss anything to watch beautiful women parade and show their talents as they glide across the stage. I love the poise of these women who constantly smile and wave to the crowd as they display themselves throughout each category gunning for the crown. As a retired model myself **pops collar** I can remember the rehearsals leading up to the show and the chaos behind the scenes for the show to run "smoothly". The work that goes into these shows and the efforts for production aint for the faint of hearts. Imagine minding yo business and receiving an email from Ms. Lorrine Ross to be invited to be a judge of a pageant show. Yea I know...happens all the time right lol-NOT!! I disregarded it n thought it was spam or a scam. In true google reminding fashion, the email popped back up to respond. I checked it out again n did my own "research" n learned oh shyt...this is legit. I hurried to reply with excitement with a HELL YEA...I mean...why yes, I am available and it was that moment...I prepped to be a judge. What a chance of a lifetime. How did Ms. Lorrine find me? I have no idea. To be chosen at this level gave me a sense of honor because however Ms. Ross came across my content, she saw it fit for me to be a part of her event. Because I love what I do with blogging, I work as if nobody's watching and those who feel me-feel me! The whole process from beginning to end was top notch! The communication was amazing and Ms. Lorrine stayed in contact throughout the year leading up to the event. She is truly passionate which invigorated the judges to represent and do her proud. This was a fun experience and I am excited to have been a part of the 5th Annual Ms. Full-Figured DMV Pageant . I got to see my blogger boo's who attended and also a full circle moment with a slight tear jerker....I came across a woman who sung at my mom's wedding. Note; anytime I come across my mom's old friends, I have an emotional moment because they mention how I look like her n reminisce on what she meant to them which is exactly what happened when I came across Ms. Beverly . She did a quick video for my mom's bestie, Vendetta to capture the moment: These women did a phenomenal job. I admire the gumption to put themselves in this position to be judged and u could see the hard work that went into each category they were competing. The sisterhood tied it all together for me. While this was a competition for the crown, in the end while we anxiously awaited the results; they still rooted for each other. Even just ONE win was a shared win and I was bursting with excitement to see how my votes contributed to the winner. Being a part of this pageant was a MAJOR boost for me. It showed me I am headed in the right direction with how I carry myself because yall know I am big on how we represent ourselves to the public and representation matters. I highly doubt I would've been chosen to judge a classy group of ladies if I was outchea next to Sukihana n nem. Attending these types of events is where I wanna be and it's aligned me to where I wanna go moving forward. These are the types of people and affairs I want to align myself with considering it goes with my motto to Inspire-Motivate-Elevate . Quick Styling Deets: My Celeb MUA Sister: Yani B Honey Blonde Bombshell Stylist: Mahogany at Hair Mania Salon Vintage Dress of Fabness: Shop Vintage Boutique Yup...another notch on the belt and bullet to the resume! When folks say who am iiiii to judge, I can officially say I'm certified by way of the delegates from #MSFFDMV and yall can thank Ms. Ross for granting me the privilege **cue evil laugh**

I dont know about chall but I know about us and uuuuh...it's been a helluva year. Aside from extending the concept to work from home into the year (I am NOT complaining) I have been grateful n proud to be afforded a lot of opportunities which pushed my growth and tested my patience all the while allowing me to be myself. I am big on integrity and not saying YES to things that don't serve or value my brand. I have no intentions of misrepresenting myself for a dollar or exposure to build a following-I am not press! What is for me...will be and these blessings I've been receiving reveal themselves as proof I'm headed in the right direction and doing something right. As we inch our way to the finish line, this is where we reflect and contemplate resolutions for the upcoming year. Throughout the remainder of this year, I will be dropping the highlights of events and accomplishments which have been quite memorable. I am actually excited because it gives me a chance to relive these moments. This year of review has taught me so much. This year has been a full transformation in addition to my journey of refinement. I like to play the New Year Resolution game because it gives me a chance to come up with a theme of the year. Allow me to refresh ur memory to this years theme: Year of No Expectation. Looking back on this theme, the beauty of the outcomes from having this mindset led me to connecting, linkin, networking, collabing n building friendships I never expected. To give a sneak peek; within my series of Best of 2021 be on the lookout for: DMV Pageant Dedication to Rose Brunch Wine Down Wed VIP w/Sassy Jones I wanna thank ME Honorable Mention: Wrap Up of 2021 What about chew? Has this year been kind to u? Are u reflecting to see where u can make improvements for next year? Pause and think of all the accomplishments-big or small-that made u smile.

U know u grown when...u move strategically n ponder longer before making hasty decisions. I've been thinking more long term with aging and want to be deliberate in next steps as it relates to my future. Let's be real...these Baby Boomers will leave us no crumbs after they retire n so I've been curving my...ok not been but I will be....curving my spenditures to start prepping for my own retirement. I barely feel like going to work now (even from home) so I can only imagine how over it I'll really be anything after my 50's. The results of my today come from the habits of my yesterday. Let's be real...my generation is making twice as much as our parents did at this age. Thanx to the baby boomers we have greater opportunities and have actually changed the game to how we can be productive n run things quite efficiently. In an era where they took the long route, we have found short cuts to get to the answer. No our work ethic isn't as great as theirs but thanx to the advancement of technology n progression of the times...we produce results. One thing I don't want to ever do again is get complacent. I worked public safety for longer than I should've becuz I was content n chasing a dollar. I was unhappy n felt stagnant. When I find myself in a place to where I don't feel appreciated n complaining-it's time to roll because although I remain professional in the workplace, my quality of life is important. I am not attached to no seat at work, co-workers beyond friendships built outside of work and blessed with options to move around. Many people are afraid of taking leaps of faith due to the stages u hit before becoming lost: content, complacent and. lazy. I've seen it around me n refused to be that person. I totally canNOT believe that come next month I'll be leaving 40 to add a one. It's been a whole azz year-sheesh!! It's like dmnnnn bytch grow TF up n be responsible but the streets (aka shopping n splurging) be calling me. I made a decision within my career recently where I turned down a higher advance for greater opportunity which will later lead to an even higher advance later. I tend to play the long game n so far so good. I chose a position which challenges my abilities and gives me growth to add to my resume. I'm also debating on getting certs in the cybersecurity field for additional value. Where my life is swaying these days, I don't know. I am honestly taking it one day at a time. It's just funny how I contemplate decisions longer n draw out different angles of possibilities to weigh the options. Life is coming at us fast guys...

Every girl grows up with this notion of finding the man of their dreams. Yaaaaas all those lovely fairytales we seen where we get swooped off our feet by our night n shining armor. Anybody remember playing MASH where you'd put ur crushes in the middle to see who n what you'd end up with when u grew up lol-yea...about that **le sigh** I don't know who came up with the celebration of #MCM but I think it's a great idea to acknowledge the special man in our lives. Yall know I don't spreading my buuuusinesssss of who my man's be becuz I keep that intimate part off social media. PLUS I know I am very territorial n " if that bytch is fiiiiine they better be blooood" I don't play about miiiiines! However, I said u know what...I think I'm kinda ready to share my love affair wit the world becuz I've been oh so proud of seeing him peek out his shell n go after what he's destined to do. I love listening to his dreams and supporting the moment despite having to kick his azz off the couch of chitty chatty to put ACTION behind the words. Introducing my baby daddy (one of em lol) to the world as he embarks on letting his creative energies bless us while in The Underground Lab on TUL Radio. I am happy to see him in this space because it's something we've always talked about. He is allll about music. I thought I was the most Jukebox-y-est music lover until I came across Rickey. There are songs I know folks don't know about but he's a good B sider n as a vinyl junkie anything 80's n 90's-HE KNOWS!! Now my catalog starts in the 70's from growing up to Parliament wit the funk to even keeping up with new age RnB of today. Also check out Rickflections Podcast and follow him on social media platforms to keep up with my maaaaan. I am looking forward of him growing into this space and getting him some business as he lends his voice n music expertise to us. I really hope he shares more of his "hidden" tales from trials n tribulations of fatherhood and growing up in Nawlins...ya heeeeard meh! So we shall see. I'm just proudly rooting for my man crush on this Monday.

One thing I secretly pride myself on is...my reputation. It's always preceded me in a positive manner personally and professionally. It's an underrated strength to have. It's a measure of influence and social standing in society. It's a make or breaker that some people don't take into consideration until they need it for leverage. We say "I don't care what people think" it's oftentimes taken too literal as if it doesn't matter when it does. We create n shape our reputations and ultimately it's constructed and developed on the perception of others. THIS is where u have to learn the art of controlling ur narrative becuz we can influence our reputation but we have no control over it and THAT is the part iiiiii don't worry about. Your reputation + image should be valued becuz it benefits YOU with greater opportunity yet we brush it off becuz we walk around with the mindset of...I don't care what u think to those not of importance to us personally. Interesting becuz u never know who u may need or bump into later. How Sway? Well let's seeee; in HS and/or college that bamma u brushed off n treated like trash is now in the office u walk in for a job interview. Regardless of how qualified u are for the position; what would u do w/the power to yay or nay someone who left a bad taste in yo mouf? That chick u turned ur nose up to is now in the office u work in with higher rank n some pull to get chew up the ladder but lets be real...regardless of whether u carried em yesterday or decades ago-the feeling of how u made them feel is imprinted. Ur reputation for being a bytch isn't forgotten. Yes, u can swallow ur pride n work harder to overcome the "social abuse" you've done to others but whyyyyy! I don't know about chall but the old adage "it's not what u know but who u know" has come in handy in all areas of my life. I was able to hit up a past timer i hadn't talked to in years when I had a plumbing problem. If my car is on the side of the road I can rely on assistance at the drop of a hat. I legit have a network of friends/family/associates...people period that got me n I know that comes from being a great person and overall my reputation. Ask about me **Hov voice** I am good peoples!! Heaux need to take ownership of the image created for themselves by themselves and stand on it. I found it chuckle-able to see Lizzo do her social media breakdown on folks comin at her but but but...what happened to the IDGAF what chew say n think of me attitude she projected n kept the antics of showin us her azz (literally) to kiss? I understand there is a struggle to balance a healthy self-esteem n not value the opinions of others but let's be real-we do care to some capacity!...when u are invited to shin digs the first thing u be asking is "who all comin" or "who all over there" cuz its some folks u just dont wanna deal wit right? You know folks who got the rep to always be lyin or the one who always havin a bad day and I don't care how much time passed or the possibility they've changed; they're always associated with their bad rep. When heaux complain about guys putting em in the "fun girl" category, I scroll their timeline n pics like YUP-they right, she looks like a good ol' time lol. How u posting "Dear Future Hubby" posts n all u showin us is duck lips n booty poppin poses **le sigh** Just like we do our research n analysis on dudes; they have their own network they compute us into n if ur reputation is being a "rolla" issa wrap. "Check yo self before u wreck yo self" -Ice Cube I stand strong in my reputation n image becuz for the effort and time it took for me to get this far, it can't be easily destroyed. Slow n steady wins the race lol but I don't pretend to be anybody I'm not. I'm not doin antics for male attention n my sex appeal don't come from showing my body off for attention. I know being in this public space of blogging, it takes a thano's snap to be torn down yet I am confident in the ME I've built to maintain. There's just some shyt if yall ever hear about me, u can decipher if i did that shyt or not. Yall know me and I am consistent behind the keyboard to in front of ur face. I say some crazy thaaaangs but yall know i ain't doin nothing to jeopardize nor compromise my family + lifestyle. These are the benefits of having a good rep becuz the "Court of Public Opinion" will ride on yo side until proven otherwise. I'd hope that when yall see I've RSVP'd for an event that u would look forward to seeing n interacting with me. I want my reputation to naturally reflect an outgrowth of the best version of me I am workin to be. I have the advantage of being apart of a circle of friends with great reps who also inspire others becuz we all need some positive role models. Don't ignore the importance of ur reputation becuz it creates privileges others don't have. I know people shun privileges but only when it doesn't work in their favor. Your character takes years to build and gives distinct qualities to who u are. Ur reputation provides value and if u use it correctly, u can charge premium (i.e. dating market). Trying to juggle the character n reputation to see which one is more important can be irrelevant when u recognize they work hand in hand. Ultimately, how do you want to be perceived? Do u think part of ur worth is in ur reputation? Or could u care less about ur rep becuz other qualities outweigh enuff to make u a valuable asset? Nonetheless, YOU are responsible for it all.

Welp!! Now that we've completed not just Mason's birthday but also Thanxgiving...let's get ready to sliiiiide into Christmas 2021. Yaaaay **cue Temptations** I will be putting up my tree sometime this week as a start to get me into the holiday cheers of a mood. I love being the gift giver and this year I'm gonna do themed baskets so I'm excited. What is on my wishlist?? Yall know this is a toughy for me. I typically grab what I want instead of waiting and I am trying to get better....hence this post lol. I'd like to think I'm pretty easy to shop for because yall know where I loooove to shop. The most default of gifts to ever think to get me would consist of gift cards from my favorite places because I collect n hoard them until I cash out for a "Me Day" which I typically take in the spring time: Nordstrom Target Starbucks Now I know...gift cards can be quite boring for someone who wants to put some thought n effort into gift giving so I'll also make it easy...My favorite characters to collect would be anything Betty Boop, Ursula, Cruella and Miss Piggy. Betty Boop n Miss Piggy come from my idols of growing up and I love a good villain so Ursula n Cruella are my fashion darlings. Now some thaaaaangs I have had my eyes on n holding back from getting myself...are these earrings (currently on sale) I meant to get around Halloween from BaubleBar : Keeping with the theme I do think these would be a perfect match to decor within my room. These figurines are currently on Fun.com but also found on amazon and one mo' time... amazon lol. Whether u click on the picks or the links...it'll lead u right to it. Those are the main things I wanna see under my tree. For good measure...lemme toss in some other things I'm eyeballing... Very rarely do I find Vintage Miss Piggy's unless I'm randomly scrolling when the feeling hits me on eBay so I don't bother too much. In the back of my head, I will be on the hunt for a gorgeous vintage rotary phone for home decor shortly as well. Also, remind me to get one of those robot vacuum things! Now as bad as I wanna ADD TO CART...I am holding off to see what Santa brings me cuz I've been an anti-naughty girl this year and I deserve **cue evil grin** So that's pretty much my list...What are you looking forward to Santa putting under your tree? Please share cuz I'm curious and also feel free to tag me to what else to put on my radar-u know...those things u didn't think u needed til u tried it aka enabling haha. Happy Holiday Shopping!!!

My baby is FIFTEEEEEN!! Omg, I am sooo gonna cry in the car. Like seriously. As cliche as it sounds, where does the time go? It was on this day 15 yrs ago where I almost diiiiied. Being 25 and not knowin what the heck to expect; his original due date was the 17th n in typical hard headed male fashion he was not tryin to come out. Them last weeks leading up to...when u are looking fwd to that due date...and that shyt goes by like an unhailed cab-I was PISSED!! Everyday after feels like a decade n I was sick n tired of being sick n tired. At the time, I worked at DC Gubment n in my head I wanted to be superwoman n work up to the day-WRONG! I cut that shyt early to "nest". We was all set n ready! Clothes, infamous mommy bag packed, name was picked (courtesy of my girls in our vintage chat lol) annnnd this little boy was not budging. During my last doctor's appt, she could see the misery n drainage on my face n did some razzle dazzle up in the cervix n set a date to evict him in case whatever she did, didn't work. I swear it felt like she put her hand up there n did a Kill Bill hand twist to the heart move! Either way, I just dragged my azz home-mad AF cuz the delivery date was set for that next week. His dad who cared not about my suffering n didn't understand my gripe carried on wit his day. As I sat in the bed wit swollen feet, an ungrabbed dorito I couldn't pick up from the floor n remote in hand-I felt...a something! OMG WTF was that...I felt a something AGAIN n anything after those something's came wit strong sharp azz pains. I called my doctor n dropped the bat signal to his dad. Now here we are dmn near utilizing i395 as a racetrack to get to Washington Hospital. Them somethings are stronger than a Baby Boomers jean crease n so with every contraction his heart rate dropped. I had to get an emergency c-section. Ok cool-even better...I was getting put to sleep-YESSSS!! Let's goooo... On Nov. 22nd, I woke up n what looked like a storage room then get wheeled to a room. Next thing I know, they bring this rocket head azz baby near my bed. I'm like awww who's this...I was expecting my baby to have some color cuz God knows I don't like LS (lightskin) guys. Then he opens his eyes n they are NOT normal. The nurse checks n confirms he's mine via scanned bracelets. I'm now holding this white baby wit hazel-y colored eyes thinkin..OMG...his daddy is gonna give me the side phkn eye n now we gonna have to go on Maury. After all the agony n pain, I decided to bring him home with us n he's yet to leave my hip. Watching him grow, I see bits n pieces of myself n I can't do nothing but pause n chuckle. He does some ooooof theeeee dumbest shyt ever n after I shake my head, I figure-Imma stick beside him. To see a little me running around has been interesting. My introduction into motherhood with our son made from love has been one of the greatest gifts. With no instructions n learning as I go. I am far more open than my parents were at his age n I've learned to have open communication to have an understanding as to why he would operate n do the (dumb) things he does cuz we are of different generations. I am aware he has influences amongst the social world n friends so I gotta stay hip n updated in the 'no. Hoooowever, what I have stressed is how he knows right from wrong by now n there are consequences to actions. Life ain't fair n nobody in the real world gives any phks about how cute he is, how pretty his eyes are, how stylist he dresses-THEY DONT CAAAAARE!!! Mason is a good kid. I remind him how proud I am of motivating him to put his best foot forward n represent me well. He doesn't ask for much. Fairly simple guy! His teachers have nothing but nice things to say on how well-mannered he is and I just want him to push forward and work hard to be of value for society and whatever family I allow him to have (cuz its still M.O.B.). We have all different kinds of convos from his school life, "love life" and future chats. As much as he learns from me, I learn from him and although i am not a strict parent-he knows I'll take it here...bring it there **cue Ike** My sweet innocent angel has a birthday today!! A year older...more responsibilities to gain n the closer to EIGHTEEN we get, I am ever so proud of my baby and if its one thing he doesn't miss-it's love! He won't admit it but he enjoys when i clean his ears as he lays in my lap or when i break up his game to be in his room where he never knows what angle i'm comin at him until i crack a joke lol. He got siced for whatever reason that he surpassed my height AS IF it gives him superiority and/or authority over me-I don't give a dmnnnn if he gets 8 ft tall-YOU CAN'T BEAT ME!!! So for all his cyber aunties who have been around n watched him grow up...isn't it crazy how you've watched him grow up online. To all of the uncles n "duncles"thank you for being positive role models for him to look up to and I guess secretly chat with **eyeroll** when he's not comfy talkin to me. It truly does take a village and I'm grateful for mine. Happy Birthday to my first begotten son.

I feel like the mention of anything with the D word garners Charlamagne to randomly pop up like Beetlejuice. Also...please note: I ain't no doctor. As u can recall, I proudly skipped anything related to Math in order to get my degree in the most basic of basics so just know there is NO title of Dr. nothing foreseen to be attached to my name! How I was able to self-diagnose this disorder as it relates to myself was from the perspective of someone else who pointed it out to me. They noticed how every year around the same time, I hibernate. For the most part, I am upbeat n maintain my attitude with the "little" things that bring me joy. Once I evaluated my own mood swings n paid attention to enjoying my alone time more than ever-it's always around Fall. Fall is one of my favorite seasons to enjoy layering, I love the weather change n the foliage as the sun caresses the leaves during a sunrise. Daylight saving time affords the beauty of the most gorgeous sunsets. Granted-it's totally dark by 6p n my body must tell my brain it's midnight cuz I be in bed by 8p. Per NIH , Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is basically (my translation cuz I prefer simplicity) when ur mood changes more than likely in Fall/Winter. These changes can include having low energy, insomnia, change in appetite, trouble concentrating, hibernating n depression/anxiety. So here's the thing...I lost my mom half my life ago. During Thanxgiving, I have options with friends n extended fam but the closer it gets to the day, the more over it I become. As much as I love the reunion of breaking bread, catching up n laughs of memories-I still don't be press to be bothered. It's nothing against nor any love lost; I just wanna-just be...to myself. I do gather some energy becuz Mason's bday is before (or on) Thanxgiving n then we roll into Xmas which seems to be celebrated earlier than normal every year. I don't wanna deprive my kids of joyous occasions with their mom n traditions they can build on n pass on plus I know its sacred time for my boys. I can recognize I am more emotional during these times cuz I've learned how to accept loss, I still allow myself space to grieve. Maybe that's where the depression part kicks in. So how do I overcome the SAD? I come out of hibernation in spurts n thrive in spontaneity. I also enjoy my time to self n take random bubble baths. This season I will direct more energy into organizing n purging; which is turning into a lifelong project. My favorite snuggle bunny during this season is my weighted blanket. If yall don't have one of these...u are not loving urself correctly n truly missing out. Now is my time to shine n hit PLAY on crime docs and catching up on some seasons of my favorite shows: Queen of South, Blacklist, Wentworth and always open to suggestions. I do not have all the answers, Sway. I take it day by day. Told yall I'm trying to find some balance with going back into the office these days. I'm trying to see how to squeeze in my daily walks again. I hibernate differently but peek-a-boo here n there. I enjoy doing my IG stories but not enuff to force it if the spirit doesn't hit me. Around this time it's also good to pause to reflect n re-evaluate 2021 then set some goals tones for 2022-I like being a forward thinker. For those who may feeeeel like they go through a case of seasonal depression; hang in there. This may be tough to navigate especially if you've recently loss a loved one. I am typically patient with everyone during these times because a lot of people aren't vocal with what they are dealing with so if u don't pay attention u could miss the signs. I do NOT like talkin on the phone but I do schedule check-in calls for a brief chat becuz it's nice to hear a voice rather than a tone thru txt. So NO, I am not ignoring anybody n no need to do a welfare check if I disappear from the timeline for 2-3 days lol. I'm around and looking forward to the holidays...to fly by!!

Well dmn...that was fast. October went by quicker than a debit charge!! Sheesh. I am still trying to get in the groove of being back in the office n flexing between working from home. Just when I think I've got a good handle on a balance-BAM!!! The weekend hits n throws me off depending on how social I am. Due to EVERYONE turning FORTY this year, October was filled with celebrations from my favorite party gals which reminded me...I can't do the stanky leg n think I can be coherent on Monday for work. Maaaaan partying takes at least 36 hrs to recoup! First up was an East Coast-West Coast theme'd party. I love Halloween season. It's like a free pass for adults to pause being grown n not take life so serious. My inspo was N.W.A n narrowed down to MC Ren but I knew I needed a reason to break out my Eazy-E socks so Uh Yay-E-Yay-EEEeee here I am. I will say...the times of parties for us OG's have been starting late enuff to take a nap yet ends early enuff to catch SNL. I can appreciate those times because traffic n parking can get tricky in DC. My patience ain't there to decipher trusting my basic reading skills with a public school education to read 5 signs on a pole; if it's safe to park while walkin away secretly calculating if I have enuff to cover a ticket and/or tow upon arriving back to my car-or not. In the middle of partying with friends for Bad Boy Theme'd parties n Happy Hour Shindigs...my baby was prepping for homecoming. I am still in awe of him being in high school n these events make it all too real. He wanted to wear all black but I mean...yall know who his mama is so I wasn't gonna let that happen. I acted as his stylist for the look to come together. I know one thing...my electric bill should be low for the month of October. I was barely there. I will be sitting my azz down for the majority of November tho. I need to do another purge of the closet n looking fwd to relaxing on my balcony on crisp mornings to watch the sunrise with being wrapped up in a weighted blanket. Yall know I am not about that socialite life. It did feel really good to reunite with friends who I haven't seen in a long time and overall great energy from good peoples which is often needed to rejuvenate ourselves. The lack of sleep and recovery time was well worth it. With a VIP event to enjoy a fashion show behind me, a commitment to do radio once a month and a host of shindigs that kept me busy, I ended October with brunch with friends. I love intimate settings playing catch up with girl talk. Time gets away from us having lives and tending to families, we gotta pause to tend to ourselves. Pouring into friendships n loving on each other is fulfilling and rejuvenating. Like wow, I really be around some phenomenal people and I can't help but to smile thinking of it. Hugs and cheers-getchu some!! November will bring hibernation. Next week is a holiday and marks the middle of the month-already!! Mason will be a year older which means more responsibilities lol. He knows the drill haha. Thanxgiving...Black Friday...extended warranties and getting creative for Xmas gifts-Yaaaaay...the excitement (I wrote that in a sarcastic manner btw). What chall got planned for the month? As we are almost at the finish line to New Yearssssss, have u made the mark to complete ur goals? Is ur envelope fully loaded with all those $1 a week saving challenges yall did, lol.