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I am not in the church every Sunday. I can't recite many scriptures nor memorize the bible front to back in all versions. I can't keep up wit no denominations of being baptist, catholic, presbyterian or vegetarian but what I do know...God is real and angels come in many forms to walk amongst us. I have had far too many "by the grace of God" moments to not believe in a higher power. My most recent moment had me walkin back to my desk teary eyed. **cue tambourines** Over the weekend which was quite eventful; my purse changed a few times so SURPRISE **fast fwd** I'm at work dipping into my work tote only to find my everyday wallet MISSING my license n bank card. What was left was a lingering cc that expired this month n an extra account card which barely be having $10 (I only use it to deposit for a loan) so as my stomach growled, I left on the hunt for food with fingers crossed that one of the 2 possible's (like a game of spades) would work just enuff to keep me from fasting til I got home. I was basically blind yall. I go to McDonald's n cringe. As I'm standing in line I am already prepping for the stomach ache n acid reflux feeling I know it will result in (not to mention the peasantry taste). Somethin tells me (intuition) to leave out n go elsewhere. I end up nearby which is outside of the McD's budget but I was willing to take a chance. So this guy in front of me compliments my hair n after I politely thank him, I go back to stalking the menu for prices n praying that whichever card can and will work cuz how embarrassing is that to hold up the line and have that dreadful "DECLINE" response. As the line is steady moving, I place my order after his n he turns back n asks can he pay for my lunch. Within a split second I battled with a yay or nay and I settled on tellin him NO but what came out my mouth was "I am open to receiving my blessings, sure". I paused like bytch that wasn't a no becuz it was as if a ventriloquist took over n said the opposite of my thoughts. He paid n didn't expect any small talk nor ask for my number. He simply said "your kindness and having a good attitude gives you a glow" hell he basically thank'd me for allowing him to pay. Now becuz my workplace is so huge; the likelihood of me ever bumping into him again is slim to none so as he waved goodbye n disappeared; I walked back to my office with tears hovering my lids becuz it was confirming God is real. **Please Note: Replaying the moment; I'm thinking why wouldn't I automatically say YES but it's becuz I've grown up with the mindset that nothing is free n I don't want to feel obligated repaying someone back. The repay can come in different forms; either way to maintain it being neutral, I'd decline offers just in case the gifter is expecting. This is a struggle that I am learning to NOT have becuz living with an abundance mindset, I need to trust that my energy attracts genuinely good people with pure intentions. It also confirms previous posts have been on track...just in case you missed them and need to catch up (or waiting on another social media crash): Vulnerable Moment: Accepting to Receive How to Clean Your Mirror: Refinement Being Picky with My Presence When I See You Smile Bytch Pretty Girl Privilege YOUR ATTITUDE/APPEARANCE MATTERS!! Even with a mask on, I smile. My ability to pour into myself is a reflection of what I want to project into the community and I share these experiences becuz I know the work I've put in has been paying off. What would u have to lose by changing ur attitude or giving a gentle hello to a stranger who passes by or engaging in small talk while u wait for coffee. By the grace of God, HE seen fit for me to get blessed n not even take a chance on the embarrassment lol. THANK U JESUS!! Cuz I was looking too good to be declined n wasn't no dishes to wash lol. So while I may not be the ideal Christian or bathe in holy water....at the end of the day; God knows my heart and I must be doing something right. There are people who may judge my lifestyle and modern family based off what I share to not being within the lane of doing "God's work" or being righteous. At the end of the day, I'd like to think having morals + integrity + character is paying off. To do the right thing beyond a selfish realm of it being just about me. Now let the tabernacle say....AMEN!!

On the previous post , I gave some handy dandy tips on snapping pics n to seal the deal is ur overall attitude. U ever feel awkward or cheesy as u look to find a pose that'll show u off in a great light with angles (I should really be the hype man when yall take pics lol-just sayin)? U gonna need to adopt an alter ego until u are fully confident. I don't know about chall but I don't play about me! This mindset helps set the tone for the attitude I carry and translate in my pics-and life. This is one of my favorite #Mood pics. I like to use this for my "do I look like..." type post because as I luxuriate in my pussy bow'd caftan ; sippin crafted tea while the sun provides Vitamin D in the deluxe apartment in the sky-hi-hi. I relish in unrelatable posts made by humans who entertain me with horrid dating stories and chuckle-able memes and so if u glance back at this pic...Do I Look Like I accept anything less than? THAT is the attitude I dare n care to have. You should too! The real flex is having the freedom to be urself. I don't care to pander nor cater to an audience. Just know u can't please em all. Yall heaux ain't loving urselves like u claim n it shows. Ur attitude reeks of defeat n scarcity mindsets. I don't know who yall social clubs be but they must be draining ur spirits. Who do u partner with for accountability? How do u stay on ur toes? You'd be doing urself a disservice to not have a me in ur life. This is the attitude u should be having as u enter the room. You need to do the work to maintain that bright light we see when ur around. There are too many moments to be grateful for to focus n woe is me on the things that aren't go ur way. Stop overthinking shyt n loosen TF up a tad. We speak on our worth n value yet don't even know how to show up for ourselves in order to become a joy to others. Become oblivious (yet aware) to the foolishness around u becuz it serves u no purpose. Evaluate ur lifestyle with what ur taking in, who u hanging with n how u movin to determine where u wanna go. Loyalty to those who don't mean u well-for what. Stop looking for validation from such low hanging fruits becuz ur bored and giving attention to people n things which don't serve in ur best interest. Be kind to urself and you'll see an improvement in ur attitude which will translate what we see once we encounter u. Try it and report back!!

One thing I can recognize about myself is being a good time. Like no-I am a dmn good time. U would think I was an only child as much as I enjoy being to myself n spending alone time but it's my way of recharging n continuing to be a better me in order to serve you. I am a lot for myself so I can only imagine how yall take doses of me. I am NOT for everyone n I actually like it that way. I love it when folks fall off becuz it leaves me with strong quality people. Those who get me...get me! I don't have to further explain myself n the longer u know me, the more you'll learn to love me. Them: Who takes ur pics? Me:...Me! Yup! I am a one man band. I grabbed a tripod from amazon n then I find a spot to set up n hit the self-timer (unless I have my remote). The early mornings are better for me with the morning sunshine hitting for a perfect glow before noon. Finding ur light is important. If I miss the morning times then I'll wait til after 4-ish; closer to sunset gives the same effects from the morning. Another question people ask me...what do u do with people around?? Before I answer this...the other part of the recipe to snapping ur greatness is ur attitude. Do I look like I care who sees me? Do I look like I care who's around? No! I don't. I honestly don't even notice people until they distract me as an obstruction so the best thing to do with an audience is to give them a shoooow hunty. It may feel uncomfortable at first becuz it's just different but I can set up shop anywhere n just go to town. Styling is important. I did this shoot off a whim for my girl Jen who asked me to be apart of her style series. I tossed on something I knew that would make me feel gorgeous. This caftan is from B Fyne which I grabbed from Saks earlier in the summer. It's light n flows to allow u to feel nothing less of luxuriating. The key to a perfect pic is how u feel. Keep in mind the message u want to convey with leaving footprints. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I smize; either way, I find a good glide n rhythm n snap away. I can get lost in a solid two hours becuz once u knock the ice off, u can get comfy n start doing all kinds of random poses n GIVE MOVEMENT. The hardest part will be choosing ur Top 5 which will turn into ur Top 10 n with so many options u won't know which one to kill em wit cuz the fabulosity just never ends daaaarling. So...How does she do it? Morning Sunshine + Tripod + iPhone w/self-timer + styling + ATTITUDE: The attitude I've adopted will be PART DEUX in continuation of this post. It's the cherry on top to flame ur pics n to have overall in life. It didn't come easy for me tho and can actually take some years to craft into ur own which is what u see before u today. Challenge urself to get dressed up-JUST BECUZ-then scout a location (I also like parks n small towns) to prop ur phone up against (I also use walls or even my purse for angles) n snap awaaaaay!! Enjoy the moment, it's one of those dancing like nobody's around type feelings.

Well...that was fast! School bells are starting to ring and Labor Day Weekend was Summer's Grand Finale. In my working world, I am still working from home-no complaints here, with flexibility of going into the office here n there. As short as this summer seemed, I enjoyed being outside. I kept my same routine as Summer 2020 which was getting up n out early and retreating back home before it got too people-y outside. I had no urge to take vacays outside my local area n surprisingly, I brought a new bathing suit n yet to be poolside. If you are of and from the #DMV there is no way to trollop around summer without blessing ur mouf with crabs! When I am dining for one, I keep it classy n cute with crab legs but when it's time for fellowship amongst friends; u go for the full crab (specifically large males). During cookouts, the bushel comes out at the end as majority of folks have left, lol. U get lost in gossip n playing catch up while cracking crabs n dipping it in whatever ur special sauce is (I'm a simple gal-only butter n old bay for me). I'll do a "Best of Summer 2021" later. For now...I wanna bask in the joys of one of my favorite seasons: "A fallen leaf is nothing more than a summer’s wave goodbye" -unknown I am totally looking forward to an extra hour of sleep, leaving the windows open and paying attention to the weather change. Everything is pumpkin spice and the Halloween n Xmas decorations tease us on the shelves. Aaaaahhh yeeessss....sweater dresses n hoodies...oxblood n hunter green anything-I am ready for layers! More importantly...I am ready to enjoy crisp mornings sipping tea/coffee on the balcony; snuggled up in a cozy throw blanket. Also...u NEED a weighted blanket ...just saying! My routine shall remain the same for the weekends: This will be my first FREE FALL in the last four years where I'm not hustling n procrastinating to finish a paper (still feels weird) n I honestly can't tell yall any plans I have to enjoy the season. I'm taking it day by day like the rest of yall. I go into hibernation mode around November tho as holiday season is rough-I pull thru only for the kids!! Oh...cuffing season... I don't know about chall heaux being on the proooowl but yall better stop playing n lock it down for the winter! See...yall out here thinking u got time (and options) when u don't (refer to The Infamous Dating Pool ) but who am I **shrugs** Who else is excited by Fall? How sad are u to see Summer go? EEEK!!!

I am no love guru but if men are such simple creatures, why is dating so hard for us? Why we can't seem to get it right n what the hell are yall doin out in deez streets gettin such a bad rap!! As I gaze over the dating pool n see who's lingering to seek relationships, I peek over the fence to take a gander here's what I see near the **dun dun duuuun** dating pool: People dipping their toes in the water like they scared to get wet or checkin the temp Heaux getting splashed Folks getting baptized (whew yall bold) Those who disregard the signs of the area where its too deep n just dive in **cue cannonball** Spectators who came to just look pretty with no intentions of getting wet (window shopping) Newbies that never learned to swim so their knees buckle the closer they get to the water Some who comin running n screaming out the water to warn others of sharks Most people are safe in the shallow end of the pool. It's a neutral area to swim around and learn the basics until u graduate to the deep end. The problem is...we get to the deep end n come running back to the security of the shallow end? Why...becuz there's comfort and a sense of contentment being able to have ur feet touch the ground. You can maintain ur balance knowing ur feet are firmly planted in the shallow end vs unsurety of the deep end. You never know how deep it goes n you've been scared to venture off into the deep end becuz you've heard the horror stories of folks who nearly drowned or never made it back! It's forever been a myth into the unknown (n we prefer guarantees). We all have different reasons to visit the pool but let's be real...after a few laps around, u get tired. Why not show up with an objective on what ur looking for when u come to the pool? Some of yall be comin back to the same pool of a familiar crowd n wonder why u keep getting bit by jellyfish n sharks. That pool is overcrowded yet u pass by less crowded pools becuz u heard its boring n u wanna be where it's LitTy!! You'd much rather be at the pool where u gotta fight over chairs to sit n wait ur turn for someone to give u swim lessons. U need lessons but the trainers are busy juggling multiple students so what u do? How do u get the trainers attention? U come up with a scheme to fake like u drowning so u carry yo azz towards the deep end. The trainers still paying u no mind n why would they? They got they hands full. Here u go...u done lost footin n slipped into the deep end. Arms flailing n u yelling for help. Instead of a trainer dropping what they doin, a life guard comes to save ur azz. Whole time he bringin u back to safety, u bytching n complaining cuz its not one of the trainers u wanted to save u instead of appreciating the only option u had during yo time of distress. Ain't that some shyt. U left storming away wit an attitude n leaving bad YELP reviews to "warn" others how tainted the pool is!! Some of yall heaux don't know what chall want to gain from coming to the pool. U show up unprepared n winging it-no towel, no SPF, no umbrella; just expecting ur needs to be met when u arrive. To my heaux who haven't tapped into ur greatness or don't feel like u deserve more becuz u have yet to experience the benefits n joys of "more"; u are a big fish in a little pond. U don't belong in the overcrowded pool area n need to exit expeditiously! By now, for my age group, we shouldn't be beginners at swimming n should also be able to decipher the kind of crowd to dip with. The type of crowd u want might not be what u need so carry yo azz n try a different pool which is often times the road less traveled. Again, I am observant as I've made my way from the fence looking at yall pool n slowly took notes while headed to lounge near my pool. I'm getting splashed on but I ain't ready to get baptized. Let me be the first to tell yall....I can't swim yet I know enuff that if I get tossed in...I won't drown cuz I can peddle enuff to the shallow end. There's plenty of seats here. Some trainers got free time so they come to me asking if anyone lookin to swim. I pause n ponder with a few potentials in mind but naaaah...yall too busy at the other pool n I'd rather this spot remain exclusive n free'd up for those who seriously wanna not just learn how to swim but receive a certificate of completion for the program. That's just a small fraction of what I see n heard from the patrons but hey...what do I know, I'm just waiting on my lifesaver #BaeWatch

I tossed this question that pondered my mind on FB where I had a few brave souls speak on it. It was actually inspired by someone who also posed the question; does pretty privilege exist and if u have it, how has it benefitted u. I read comments on the topic which ranged from women who didn't agree with it nor subscribe to it because they think it's a way to "divide us" and some who felt guilty for having it. There's some who know they don't have it n those who use it to the fullest of their advantage. Why do we not wanna accept the existence nor claim the bias of beauty. Here's MY take on this.... To be quite honest...I didn't hear about pretty girl privilege until the last maybe decade or so. I've never noticed being treated differently for being "pretty" because overall I just figured since I'm nice to people in return...I get free shyt. I never intentionally think oooooh I'm so pretty so lemme see what it'll get me today **cue evil laugh** Looking back tho...I'm like hmmm...I had the power all this time n didn't know it lol. The thing is...people are hush n mums the word with #PrettyGirlPrivilege becuz when ur on the winning end, what's there to complain about. It's only the losers who mad n got something to say with the fight of it being "unfair". Society is the one that dictates beauty-not me, not chew! Those on the winning side of the privilege get an easier way of life but there's different perceptions to beauty. It's interesting that the debate of beauty relates to women more than anything because guys KNOW when they ugly n are more accepting to the fact they are facially challenged n play up other qualities to stay in the race. Guys ain't sitting around crying n complaining bout the unfairness of not getting the same attention as the "pretty boys". Do I have pretty girl privilege? YES! Do I benefit from it? YES! Am I ashamed of societal advantages where I receive things n services unearned? NO! I didn't ask for this life. It just so happen the DNA of beauty from my parents blessed me as they got passed down. Who am iiiii to turn down the blessings God gave me lol. Beauty has gotten me through many doors and out of plenty of traffic tickets. I've gotten free food n overall...people are just nicer to u and more willing to assist when u look good. I meeeean in the office "work husbands" come in handy n I don't lift anything heavier than a box of pens becuz they recognize I'm "too pretty" to get my hands dirty. I also recognize, I do not fit in the societal "norms" n whatever standards becuz I am overweight per the standardized weight chart **looks up BMI** correction...I'm obese **slowly wipes away chip crumbs** n I look nothing like anything walkin around in the ATL. My pretty privilege comes from me just being me. The downside n con of being the pretty girl is ur already pre-judged based on ur looks becuz they think u get more than enuff attention naturally. I'd have people who didn't know me stereotype me n say "she think she like that"n back in the day when pretty girls fought the opps went straight for the face. Being pretty can be a gift n curse-a handicap even! Oh the pressssure. Yet we say shyt like "looks don't matter" TUH!! Everyone wants to feel beautiful. The fuel of compliments n attention feeds our egos in such a way which is why we love tossing on filters on social media. Women who get dolled up for an event n date nights feel pretty-can't tell u shyt lol. “Beauty gets the attention, but personality captures the heart.” -Marilyn Monroe Life is not fair! Everybody can't be pretty which is subjective in itself. Everyone can't reap the benefits of such privileges n it's not the end of the world (just might take longer to get to the end). We all struggle with self-images growing up and even in adulthood. Regardless whether u have the pretty privilege or not; don't minimize urself for the likes of a fickle society that in the end could care less! There are pretty people who turn ugly by how they treat people n when they speak. Confidence will take u a long way n if u pair it with charisma u back in the game. I find the beauty in imperfections n the essence of an inner glow because I do believe, how u truly feel will always show on the outside no matter how much u try to dress it up in "pretty". Although I was oblivious to it, clearly I've been humble with my powers cuz I could've sure used it for evil n who knows where I'd be **gazes off to the skies envisioning the French Riviera**

I have been going hard ALL YEAR thus far. I am proud to have dropped fresh balls EVERY week since January 2021. I've come along way since consistency was tough to tackle. I made blogging my priority this year while juggling school, family, work (still from home) and I appreciate chall for the support and encouragement along the way. I've stepped out my comfort zone with peeking out from the behind the keyboard so yall can put a voice to the face! I love writing n taking pics so combining passions have led to opportunities I am forever grateful for. Ya never know who's watching. I am mindful of my image while still being just me n somehow...someway...yall are crazy as me cuz yall rock with it. Yall have no idea how much I might type n let it linger before hitting PUBLISH. During the time it lingers, I edit n delete becuz we are in such a sensitive era where people can take what we say out of context where there is no malicious intent. Luckily, yall just get me! I am not pressured to post every single day becuz I don't wanna speak without having something of value to share. Apparently, I'm doin something right lol. I've had people mention me without being in the room. It's led me to opportunities such as being a judge for a pageant, guest starring on a radio show and having the honor of being a guest speaker at a women's brunch in honor of Kanesha's mom, Rose. My wrap up on all three will be posted soon. I say all that to say...don't feel bad for taking commercial breaks. Listen to ur body n give urself a chance to rest and recoup from the day to day habits of life. Granted, I didn't intend to take two weeks off from blogging but it definitely gave me time to refresh n regroup. During my walks throughout the day (it's become a habit), I've been able to have all types of ideas on how I wanna grow with my blog and branding. Oh...that reminds me...I gotta do a re-intro post **jots down notes** becuz every 500-1k followers gained, I like to do an intro for the newbies. So again, THANK YOU for holding me down, checking on me during hiatuses n loving on me. Yall accept me for me n I know I'm not for everyone. I honestly don't wanna be! My blog is my footprint, my diary, my reference with my growth n more importantly-ME!

I was honored to be a judge for the 5th Anniversary of the full-figured curvy girl pageant. I admired the courage n strength it took for each of those women to put themselves on front street. You could surely tell the dedication and hard work they put into the pageant. I took being a judge seriously and used the guidelines provided to judge accordingly. It got me to wondering... ...being in this judging seat put me on the other side of the glass for a change. In life and throughout; we are all in competition in some capacity whether with ourselves or others. Have you ever been on an interview panel? Listening to someone compete for a position by selling the panel on what qualifies them for the job. Being a judge so to speak, on the panel; your taking notes to determine if they have what it takes to do the job. The winner takes the crown or in this case...the job is the crown! How are u competing in the dating world? Are you competitive enough to win their heart? If ur in the dating game; are u what they judges are looking for becuz u may come up short in some categories. It's not the end of the world. When u lose in some areas of life-regroup n get back out there. Some competitions are harder than others. The intro is underrated. U never get a 2nd chance to make a first impression is REAL n we need to take it seriously. For me as a judge, I pay attention to ur intro (hence why I stress the importance of being aware of ur image u present to the public) becuz it gives me a glimpse of need to knows. I typically fumble with introducing myself becuz I don't wanna ramble but I also don't wanna leave anything out. I always feel so vain describing myself n I'd rather remain mute n let my presence n body language speak for me. Whether u are the judge or being judged; I've narrowed it down to my Top 3 qualities needed to compete in life: Confidence: It's not just the mindset but also the results of the work you've taken to get to where you are. A lot of people walking around wit faux confidence and I can see it. I can tell when you claim to say it out loud to convince us yet at ur core u are insecure. When u truly know ur value u embrace it by how well u carry urself. U show it by how u speak life to not just urself but others. Whether I win or lose in the competition it doesn't deflate my confidence becuz I've worked hard to get where I am. I look back on a lot of struggles n still smile through the storm becuz my triumph's can't be taken from me. I earned EVERY stripe n built my house brick by brick. Uniqueness: As much as we hear "be yourself" for some reason...we still can't quite be ourselves becuz we get visions blurred by other people n their lifestyles in which we aspire to be...like! Stop it. If u are naturally awkward, lean into it n turn ur "weakness" into a strength by making it ur signature. U ever see people fake smile n u can tell they struggled to form such a gesture. I am naturally me. Often times I am unaware of my "powers" cuz it's just...me! What is ur signature that will set u apart from the competition? For me, it's my personality. I know how to balance having a sense of humor with being serious to get the job done as needed. Being unapologetically YOU will always make u a winner; crown or no crown! Talent: One of the most important categories of the competition. This is where judges look for technique. Anybody can be a pretty face n wear sparkly garments but what type of talent do u bring to the competition. Judges are looking for ur value within ur talent to be considered to win the crown. Your skill whether natural or honed with experience rounds out the scoring. Don't worry about ur performance being similar to ur competition becuz u need to focus on hitting the stage with a different technique. The quality of ur talent sets u apart. Confidence + Uniqueness + Talent ; those are my main standards to be measured when I judge. It's what I look for when finding my tribe. A strong force to be reckoned with when u have a strong circle of friends of this caliber. We are all wearing crowns of competitions we've won. We've all had competitions lost. There are categories in which I proudly pass my crown to so they can carry the torch n continue the good work being done. I'm not stingy with my crown and take great pride in wearing mine as u should urs. I also have my sights on other crowns I'm working to win but just know each crown has been well-deserved and earned. How determined are u to win ur crown? Who or what is ur biggest competition? What categories are u scoring by? Note: Following this post will be a wrap up of the 2021 Ms Full Figure DMV Pageant where I had a great time judging. My Celeb MUA who blessed my face; my sister Iyana .

In the wake of turning forty not long ago...like dmn...half the year ago actually; I have been slowing down to take it all in. I've always looked to my elders for gems but I am really leaning into to catching all the T that comes with aging gracefully. Although I am freshly stepping into my 40's, there are some shifts that's taking place and it feels like an evolution of greatness swirling. The lightbulbs are clickin n full circle moments are happening. In my 20's I was chasing money, my 30's I was chasing happiness....during my 40's I'm chasing growth. Let me say this...I feel like SOON as I turned 40, my bones were activated to start randomly cracking, what in the hell...my body is turning on me already. This "health is wealth" mantra ain't no joke. I am still working on getting rid of this baby weight but I am definitely mindful of what I put in my body. Shyt just don't digest the way it used to. I am a lover of spicy foods but at this point-it doesn't reciprocate the love. Between acid reflux n hints of heartburn, I don't eat late. It's a recipe **pun intended** for disaster. My palate has since matured n I've become a water snob. Let's just say...I'll pay the 5 for good eats. Speaking of paying the 5...my brain is currently shifting into retirement mode. I don't know HOW these #BabyBoomers do it but iiiii canNOT. I see them drag themselves into work, complaining the whole time whether their on their 2nd career or sat in the same seat for 20+ yrs-they be TIED!! A lot of times they stay working pass 60 to take care of their grown kids in college or if they were crazy enuff to have kids later in life n so forth-either way....NAH!! I know the work ethic of my generation is far LESS than those before us. I have times now (even working from home) where I contemplate my life as the alarm goes off n I question my life's choices (which mainly lead to WHY I didn't just open the onlyfans account while it was hot). It's to the point where job opportunities that present themselves have to move me with the benefits package FIRST before I look at the salary. Priorities have definitely been changing. One of my favorites to prioritize is my COMFORT. No longer am I walking around abusing my feet with heels to allow me to hi-five Jesus for the sake of fashion. I have been wearing heels from all heights since before I could legally drive. Yall know what I am capable of but at this point...I know when its time to hang up the cape. A lot of women my age are still in denial n wanna prove a point-STOP IT MA'AM. Let these little "City Girls" (women under 32) enjoy their moment cuz they'll be on our couch soon enuff. I will kitten heel yall heaux to death-watch me #Werk Did somebody say WERK?? Well...feel free to catch up to my " Clean Yo Mirror " series scattered along the blog since Feb. I've been looking at myself more than ever these days. I've been smacked in the face with epiphanies n circling back on where n why I phked up. Where I am today, whether good or bad is a result of my previous actions of my earlier years. I preach to Mason our actions have consequences and whether u pay now or later-ur gonna pay! My sassiness has simmered down n I'm observant. There's a greater impact with silence. Not everything needs a response n the need to control has faded. I don't wanna fight no mo'. Life is soooo much easier resting in my feminine-ness becuz I am protected n secure with the men in my circle. I wasted a lot of my years fighting against being submissive to where now I just wanna be a delicate flower n live the life of abundance meant for me which is an easygoing lifestyle. No stress! No drama! No chaos! I love the freedoms I have with speech n saying how I feel. There's power in transparency and I do my own Rabbit from 8 Mile move to tell my own business cuz u can't shame me with my own story. I am open with sharing my journey n openly admit I am not perfect. I am doing the work on myself to be a better me. I want to align myself with squares n heaux who on the same mindset n frequency I'm on-ELEVATION!! I ain't bout no phk shyt. I'm too old for hot girl summers. I'm not comment cappin on social media. I'm not amongst the "cool" kids crowds cuz I wanna be out the way. Give me slow jam lounges, jazz nights, R&B parties and anything of intimate settings with small groups. My patience is limited for stupidity. I wanna be around people who are also comfortable holding me accountable n to standards of greatness. I'm out here minding my business, peeping urs and changing my ways. I can't be calling nobody out if my own house ain't in order. This decade I'm in is where I have to zero in and move more intentional than ever. Every move I make now is important to coast me into my later life-finances (lawd pray for me), motherhood (I have a freakin HS'er), dating (my name gotta get on paperwork lol), career (what do I wanna be when I grow up?), physical (my scale numbers dropping harder than a Yeezy drop) and TIME. So yea...halfway into being 40 n these are the random thoughts I think of to shape my movement. I look at how my parents made it look so easy. I am not as mature nor serious with life as they were at my age n I be wondering...is this what life is suppose to be? Why am I like this? Am I suffering from some type of arrested development? When I shake my head at these kids-am I turning into my parents? Lordie I'm 40 which is 10 years from 50 that's half of 100 **cue horror scream**

Although I am my own stylist, there are times where I don't wanna think n just be! I had already indulged in granted access to the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale (see previous post ) early but also tossed some things on the wishlist for part 2 to possibly grab later. Well as luck would have it, I was minding my own business when @nordstrom reached out with an opportunity for a stylist to suit my needs **pun intended** I pondered on it for a few days becuz I am picky n my personality is my theme until I finally said...let's do it. I may be a beginner at some things, but I've got a black belt in shopping. -Phyllis Nefler I was paired with Stylist Taylor at Nordstroms in Tysons Corner and she rolled out the red carpet upon arrival. I was already in communications with her prior to tell her my style: I like comfy cozy couture and I'm also on the hunt for a white t-shirt dress. I am always open to veer off the path with what catches my eye too. Taylor had a room prepped n ready for me! It's a tradition for me to shop Nordstrom with a lavender chai in hand (sometimes with a dash of blueberry syrup-thank me later). Once she handed me this love in a cup, I was ready to start my try on session...let's get started... I had to assess the room. I'm used to bringing as much as I can hold into a dressing room at one time and this was twice the amount so I was almost overwhelmed. It's like having ur own shopping area in one room all to urself. There's also a secluded area outside the dressing room with mirrors and stage...plenty of space for ur own runway! Life of a tall girl is finding the perfect jeans but also joggers that don't overly expose the ankle. As comfy n cute as these are; the price tag of $225 didn't impress me to make the splurge esp not having faux pockets. The fun part of having a stylist is being introduced to brands u weren't aware of. I normally stick to what I know but this Veronica Beard was definitely within my realm of style. It's versatile and perfect for Fall. It does have some weight to it which suits me cuz I am not a coat person. I could fit this solid size 12 n envisioned this being apart of my #WerkCouture hooooowever **gulps at price tag** This was a reality check for me to start investing in quality pieces over quantity becuz this will surely last over the years. Let's just say...next time, I'm gonna give Taylor a budget lol. I like to do a set budget with some wiggle room cuz for some reason...my body always loves expensive shyt lol. This dress was literally better than I envisioned when requesting a white shirtdress. It's just everythiiiiing. You can wear it with or without the slim tie belt included. Yall know I love an oversized flowy look. This is another **looks at price** investment piece. The classiest part about this dress that I love is how it comes with a slip dress underneath...u know...for those who show they azz without showing they azz ;) I'd like to also offer up an alternative of the white shirtdress look for a fraction of the price with Madewell . I tried it on for the first go round in XL and I suggest sizing down! The shirtdress looks are perfect seasonal transitions because u can layer them with dusters n robes. Or turn it into a duster n rock em over jeans. Dress 'em up with pumps, boots or casual footwear (yall know it would always be converse for me) n voila-the possibilities are endless. I'm also thinking of just getting an oversized dress shirt from the men's section of a thrift store to satisfy my craving too. I kinda like the shearling trend. Wearing it makes u feel like ur wrapped in a hug lol. BlankNYC always has cute jackets at reasonable prices whether on sale or not. This denim shearling is sooo cute-yet sold out **cue tomato throw n boos** I passed on this jacket becuz I'm a poncho n wrap queen. Also check out their motojackets!! If it's one thing imma gravitate to its anything lounge-y! I am preparing to be nestled up n hunkered down for cold winter months whether snuggled in a throw or the arms of somebody's pop pop...imma be comfortable. It's just mandatory of my attire these days. These FRAME double knit joggers felt soooo good on n hugged curves just right. I passed on these for a pair of conservatively priced ones. My favorite outfit of them all. OPEN EDIT is a new brand at Nordies and YES, u should check em out. This whole outfit was under $100: Joggers here +crop sweatshirt here (worn oversized). They also come in more colors. U can also interchange the tops with another option of this tunic hoodie . Overall my Stylist Taylor (at Tyson's Corner) was great and very accommodating. She gave me breathing room n checked on me to see how I was doing. When I came up with another idea of styles, she was on it n grabbed my vision. I narrowed my choices down to what I knew I'd wear more often than not. I definitely stayed within budget between my leftover nordie notes + $50 courtesy of Nordstrom. I am open to receiving my blessings!! I'll use the styling services more often actually becuz it was fun playing dress up and discovering new brands. I am DONE with Nordies n this sale lol...well...I am still eyeballing this Barefoot Dreams throw but I may wait til Xmas for that one cuz I'm tapped out. Are u down to try styling services? Do u know ur style? Looking for a new look...makeover? Even when ur a stylists, nothing wrong with getting help from a styler.

This is by far my faaaavorite time of the year. I save up all my nordy notes for THIS moment. I stop shopping summer clothes n get into Fall mode during this grand event becuz in my eyes...summer is OVER!! #NordstromAnniversaySale is my "prime day"n my Xmas in July. I get so excited every year and this year I'm celebrating my 11th Anniversary. At this point, there is an art to this game. Back in the day, Nordstrom would send out a preview catalog so u can map out what u wanted with teasers. There are set dates when ur able to shop but now they have different shopping tiers based on how much u spend a year. I am an "Influencer" status so my access was granted, July 16th and those who don't have an account...u know...the commoners can shop July 28th. These anniversary prices are good until August 8th and then...the price goes UP! Here's how last years sale went... here . My strategy is to pretty much browse the catalog n create a wishlist of my "needs vs wants" which always ends up a gumbo of both at some point. The categories are: beauty, shoes, home, Werk Couture n whatever else may catch my eye lol. What I've learned is some of these deals roll back around during the holiday season so I often times skip on em. There are also hot items that sell out before the sale is open to the masses but u have to kinda get a feel on what the great deal is, for example: Item normally $100 (and typically rarely on sale or great bundle deal) is now 25% off. As the years go on, u can get a gauge a good deal which is typically in the beauty or home department. I definitely scaled back this year. I normally set a $500 budget n challenge myself to be under it. Quite sure this year I WON!!! Sooo where should I begin?? Beauty shall we... These Tom Ford sets are always a hit. I have the full size bottle of the original shimmer body oil ($100) and these travel sizes are good deals to pick between a rose gold glow or bronze glow ($72). Yall know I am too cheap to buy full size bottles ESP of TF so the atomizer set which is 3 different Soleil scents is also a good look ($164) but these are the kinda deals that'll rollback around during the holidays so I skipped. Anastasia Brow Wiz is my faaaavorite for brows. I go through these the most n even great to use for beginners. They are $23 by themselves so I would've totally grabbed this double pack for $33, the clear brow gel does nothing for me cuz I barely have brows to begin with lol. I skipped on this set ONLY becuz I like to mix my brow shades and these come in the basic shades: medium/dark/soft brown and taupe. I use caramel n auburn (mixed w/Mac Spiked). I loooove my bath time. This Herbivore Botanicals set ($35) is a good intro into the line n my fave is the bath soak becuz its like bathing in milk n leaves ur skin so soft. The L'Occitane set ($50) was tempting becuz I do like the scent n how supple the skin feels rubbing this on in the shower. Last year this set was $68 and this year it's $70. If u want a dip into the luxury of Dior , start here! The lip glow is MY FAVE ($35) which I go through heavy in the cold months and the maximizer ($35) is good gloss for the plump effect (no sting). This set also comes with a mini mascara. In my opinion, I'm not new to this game so it's an easy skip for me. If I'm a newbie in the game-sure! only for the free bag cuz the mini mascara wouldn't move me...meh! Also the shade is clear so I'd rather just purchase em separate to pick my own tint. If they REALLY want to make this set of value, the mascara should be a full size (at least) and the lip glow should be a different shade. #Kiehls is one of my favorite skincare lines that I definitely keep in rotation. The Ultra Hydrators set is perfect for colder months n I actually use the face cream daily. This power strength concentrate serum is what I use under my eyes n pat it around to my lids but it's intended to be used all over the face. Out of both of these, I'd skip the serum duo (and only buy the smallest size for $22) and as much as I love the Hydrator set, I'd also skip it n just get the facial cream (1.7 oz $32). As a former #MacGirl aka Mac Whoooore, I always stop pass to see their sets becuz 'back in the day' Mac Sets were highly anticipated but it just got redundant for me. When it comes to beauty sets u can always n I meeeean ALWAYS depend on the same ol' shades to include: nude, red n peachy shades (that lean towards nude lol). Perfect for beginners but...I've moved on n I don't wear makeup like I used to. I save a lot of monies skipping the beauty section lol. Aaaaah, my favorite section that really don't need to be especially since purging my closet but...here we are! I was literally inside Nordstroms for like a solid four hours with NO BREAKS!! Trying on clothes is a whole job. I had to be strategic so I went straight to the yellow tape section (indicating the sale) n grabbed some wishlist items. Apparently, I was too late for some of my pics and a lot was already sold out. Open Edit Satin button up shirt and matching wide leg pants which I had to grab online ASAP n the bigger sizes are now SOLD OUT!! I listed an alternate set within the same price range as a Plan B: the ribbed button up cardigan , which also comes in brown n matching pants which I've only seen in plus size n only one shade, the blue. I skipped this set cuz I wanted brown. That #Halogen dress was a HIT!! I tried on the size large n felt I needed to go UP a size for comfort n the ability to NOT wear shape wear. Well instead of ordering at the counter, I let it linger n by the time I got home the only size left was XXL **le sigh** I ordered it but afraid it'll be too big up top...stay tuned. This Julia Jordan dress I wanted to see in person but...was clearly too late n I didn't anticipate it selling since it's...well...I didn't think by design folks would be interested lol. However, I do have the sold out pieces in my wishlist awaiting folks to do some returns n exchanges within the coming weeks (hopefully BEFORE the sale ends). Since I didn't wanna be greedy n I really was disappointed in my sold out items, I strolled around n came across somethings for Wishlist 2.0. It's a list where it's like eeeeh, I don't need em but it would be nice to have. Like this lovely n cozy Nike set: This set will come in handy for my Saturday Morning Routines. Errand Run Couture: Sweatshirt $45 Shorts $30 The top is a Size M n bottoms, XL. I'll prolly get this set in black tho. It's soooo comfy. This is where u can take a quick coffee break becuz I know yall in need of an intermission with as long as this post seems to be...don't worry...we almost done. We can close this out shifting to the section that pretty much takes up the chunkiest part of the budget... Ugh, Kurt Geiger London bags are inching their way into my heart. Ever since my green bag in this style, I've been in collector mode buuuut holding out. This grey smoke version is so sexy in person. I grabbed no bags but came across some good ones...I won't bore u with those n toss em in another post. I can't NOT take a peek in the shoe section. Fall is the perfect time for MUH MUH MUH MUUUUULES!!! I mean #mules are no brainers and anything pointy toe is LOVE!! These Ganni boots did catch my eye but I'll need to catch these at Nordy Rack!! I just wanted to highlight and welcome a black owned watch company; SPGBK in this gorgeous mint shade. The watches are normally $80 and this anniversary shade is $50. They have other shades (not apart of the sale) but keep this brand in mind for "Bae Bag" stuffers. And last but not least...I've heard a lot about these Barefoot Dream throws that seem to be a homebody's dream. Being as tho that'll be the only place I can afford to be messing wit this sale...I'll indulge...on Round 2. I am trying to decide which throw I'm gonna get becuz the one I want is $120 but there's another for $98 n I can't understand the difference cuz they both bout the same to me. Ok u can wake up now!! Yall know how much I love Nordies n I could've went into a more extensive post with recommendations...smash or pass hahaha!! These were just things that caught my eye while I was in-store. U can also book a stylist (hmm...I should apply for that) where they can pull some items for u to ur liking n style. I am actually gonna try that service this week to take advantage of a $50 credit they give u towards ur shopping experience. Is anyone else as obsessed with #Nsale as much as me? What chall getting? Tag me in ur hauls. I can either live vicariously through u or add them to my own wishlist in which that case you'd be an enabler **cue eyeroll** Happy Shopping!!

You ever toss a pair of shoes in ur wishlist to ponder on it. The price tag is like eeeh I can either continue my Wegmans run or sautée these air sandwiches. Treat Cho' Self whispers in my ear-too often so I use my "sleep on it" method so I don't impulsively shop. Then the sale monster tapped me on the shoulder to notify me of a sale **gasp** “Life is short, buy the shoes" -says the one NOT buying them for u So here I am...faced with a decision. A decision not on a whim cuz it's been sitting in my wishlist for months since I seen it but the opportunity of a lifetime poses itself...EEEK!! I open the email (I need to unsubscribe to shyt) n OMG...my size (39) is there...smiling at me. I close the computer but opened it back up like....girl hop on THIS!! Ok...I add them to cart n didn't feel any type of anxiety of guilt so I figured it's the right thing to do. So why haven't I hit submit? Yall know dmnnnn well I am a lover of anything #PointyToe n also a #ConverseCollector so the merging of these beauties was just aaaah...meant for meeee!! These Prada Point-Toe Canvas Mule Sneakers were placed in my wishlist when it came out for $750 but apparently a price hike snuck em up to $775 so when the sale hit it was like magic... My heart: So What's it gonna be? My bank account: Lets just say...I had to PASS!!! Due to adulting and learning to be more responsible with my chips...I just couldn't hit submit as much as I wanted to. I had already splurged and went over my monthly #Nordstrom budget for the month. I also do my household budget at least 2 months at a time and back to school shopping is around the corner. Although I was kinda sad and kept peeking in my cart I let them linger in...the dark clouds subsided and a peek of sunshine came in after the storm. A glimmer of hope... These literally popped up after I decided to say Nada to the Prada's...but peep the name of these beauties....I know riiiiight...describes me perfectly cuz I love all things dainty. So YES, I saved a whopping $410!!!! At FORTY, I just need to be smarter these days **looks ahead at retirement** and although I do enjoy my lifestyle n the ability to treat myself; I am choosing my luxuries wisely. These Chuck Taylor® All Star® Dainty Sneaker Mule just became available in white so imma grab those too. I can't compare how the Prada's feel against these but as a long time lover of Chucks, I have no regrets. Converse have always been my go to instead of sneakers becuz I dress up too much to get the cost per wear in sneakers. I cringe when I have to buy Mason shoes alone at over $200 a pop so I am the chucks or vans kinda gal. I've never been one into designer or the hype of it. Now I doooo indulge in some...strategically but I can assure u I'm not hitting em up every collection or season. When I say strategic...I shop luxury ON SALE and WITH a limit!! I let it marinate n if I keep thinking of it, I may grab it. If it's not there, it's not meant to be n there's no love lost. I also want to CLEAR DEBT!!! My last hoorah of shopping will be during the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale n even that might be skimp this year **looks over at unexpected bill** I just couldn't justify the purchase although I'm sure I could've lived in them **no puns intended** I'm just tryin to be grown up these days lol. Are there any splurges u passed up on? Did u find something comparable? How do u justify ur luxury purchases? Any type of "treat cho self" moments u can't resist? If u are ever out after 11pm n see me on duty for street patrol with a uniform of Skimpy Couture n fishnets with red nails...just mind ya bidness...or tip me well **wink**