Another Summer, Another Flight

Dainty Diaries | The Second Year

Well... here we are.

I didn't think this far ahead last year around this time, to be honest. It was pretty much a blur.

My 2025 started off grieving the loss of my grandmother, and next thing you know, I was going through the motions of gearing up for Mason's prom... graduation... and BAM.

on.soundcloud.com

College.

What a difference a year makes.

Welcome back to The Dainty Brew, where we pour a little style, a little reflection, and a little sweetness into the everyday moments worth savoring.

And this particular pour is a little more personal.

Because last summer, I was sendin' my first begotten son off to college for the very first time.

This summer?

We're doing it again.

Another summer. Another flight.

And whew...

What a difference a year makes.

Mason's first year was a tad rocky.

I didn't expect him to make the Dean's List, and everybody kept telling me to give him some room and space to find his way as a freshman.

Easy for them to say...

As my funds are getting depleted while this young man is out here finding himself.

Le sigh.

But yes... I loosened up the leash and let him run wild.

Too wild.

laugh

I did allow some grace, though, because he went off to school on the heels of losing two uncles. One of them he was VERY close to.

So I understood that there was a lot happening with him emotionally, even if I couldn't always see it.

By spring of this year, I made a surprise trip because...

Well...

I GOT TIME.

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And I can pull up as needed to make sure he gets his stuff to and gether.

Because that's what moms do.

You let them have their independence...

But you also reserve the right to appear in their general vicinity when necessary.

-trust but verfiy-

Nonetheless, Mason is a great kid.

I'm not just saying that because he's mine, but let's be real...

You know ya kids.

Since completing his first year of college, I've really seen the growth and maturity in him.

He came home and got a job for the summer because...

Well...

Team No Coddle.

I am not putting gas in two cars.

And he needs to have his own monies.

But seriously, I am VERY proud of him.

We have honest conversations about pretty much everything.

I might not know EVERYTHING happening in his life, but I am knowledgeable of a solid...

93%.

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And I'm okay with that.

I don't expect to know everything.

And honestly, I don't wanna know everything unless it's something that could put him in danger.

That's where I've learned to draw the line.

He has some solid friends, too.

The majority of his friends are in school, the military, or working in some capacity. They maintain their brotherhood, tap into each other, and use their resources to help each other out.

Solid young men.

And I love seeing that.

Going into his second year, I did let him know...

This is his make-or-breaker year.

Not because I'm trying to put pressure on him, but because the stakes feel a little different now.

He's not the freshman who is just figuring out where his classes are, learning campus life, and trying to figure out who he is in this new environment.

He's been there.

He knows the rhythm now.

He knows what happens when you don't handle your business.

And he knows that the consequences get a whole lot more serious when you're an adult making adult decisions.

I've also had honest conversations with him about the financial realities of college, especially for Black male students and how easily financial pressure can become part of the reason students don't make it to the finish line.

And no...

I did not do no College 529 plan when he was a kid.

Because I was busy being an adult with responsibilities and paying my own bills.

I was not that fiscally grown at 25 to be thinking that far ahead.

And I certainly didn't think 18 years was going to come that quick.

Anyhoo...

He's hunkering down with his major in Cybersecurity and looking for internships for Fall 2027.

And I can see the ambition.

I can see the hunger.

And my job now is to affirm that in him and remind him to keep up the momentum.

Because that's really what this stage of parenting has become for me.

Guidance.

Not control.

And whew...

That's a transition in itself.

For those parents sending their college kids off this Fall for the first time...

It will not be easy.

Even iiiii was emotional.

I shed some random tears while dropping him off at the dorm and making that infamous Walmart run for essentials.

Because in that moment...

You're watching your child's life flash before your eyes.

You're thinking about the moment they came out the womb.

Their first steps.

Their first day of school.

The little things.

The big things.

All those years where you were the person they needed for practically everything.

And now you're standing in Walmart buying shower caddies and snacks while your child is preparing to live an entire life that doesn't require you to be their alarm to get ready for school.

And that part...

Nobody really talks about.

The part of parenting nobody really promotes is the let go.

The easing up off the gas that you have to do so they can actually fly.

So they can become their own person.

So they can create their own lives.

At some point, you have to trust the foundation you've been building all these years.

You have to watch them trip up.

You have to watch them stumble.

You have to watch them make some questionable decisions.

And then...

You watch them figure it out.

You watch them get back up.

Because at this point, Mason knows better.

He understands that actions have consequences.

And after 18, those consequences can be a whole lot more major than they were before.

The anxiety as a parent shifts.

I worry about him.

But not enough to hover and call him every five minutes.

laugh

And honestly...

I'm never fully prepared for this stage because...

I just got here.

So I've learned to lean on the people who've been here before me.

The moms of sons who've sent their kids off to college.

The parents who've taken different paths.

The people who understand that parenting doesn't exactly end.

It evolves.

And I think that's what I'm learning most this time around.

Last year, I was learning how to let Mason go.

This year, I'm learning how to let myself go, too. (Not like that, lol, don't get it twisted)

Not from being his mother.

From being so wrapped up in being his mother that I forget I'm still a woman with a life of my own.

So...

What can you do to smooth this transition over?

For me?

I stayed busy.

That first month or so, I stayed pretty close to the phone.

I was listening for it.

Waiting for the random call.

Making sure I knew he was good.

And once I got used to the quiet house...

I was able to exhale.

And I mean REALLY exhale.

Not because I had relief from being a parent.

No.

It was relief that...

Well...

Job well done.

I wanna thank meeeee.

Snoop Dogg voice.

I started some new habits and hobbies that brought me some peace and allowed me to experience joys I didn't even see coming.

I've always wanted to try pickleball.

And what do ya know...

I took a class.

I expressed interest in learning salsa.

And what do ya know...

My pickleball partner from class introduced me to a spot to experience just that.

I've been doing Pilates for almost three years now, and I'm looking to stack these newfound loves with hot yoga.

And you know what?

GET A LIFE.

Seriously.

Get one.

These kids are crafting theirs...

And I am not pausing mine any longer than I've already done to make sure they become productive citizens amongst society.

I've done my part.

I'm still doing my part.

But I'm also allowed to have a life.

I'm allowed to discover new things.

I'm allowed to have hobbies.

I'm allowed to meet people and get in community.

I'm allowed to try something I've never tried before.

I'm allowed to build a life that exists outside of being somebody's mama.

Because while they're figuring out who they're becoming...

So am I.

And maybe that's the beauty of this stage.

We're both unfolding.

He's figuring out how to navigate adulthood.

And I'm figuring out what this next version of motherhood looks like for me.

It's not less love.

It's not less concern.

It's just a different kind of love.

A different kind of trust.

A different kind of parenting.

And maybe that's what sending them off is really about.

Not letting go completely...

But loosening your grip enough to let them become who you've been preparing them to be.

So, to the mama dropping her baby off at college for the first time this fall...

Cry if you need to.

Call them probably more than you said you would.

Then eventually...

They'll let you know to put the phone down.

Take a deep breath.

And go find something that makes you smile.

Because they are going to be aight.

And...

You will too.

Another summer.

Another flight.

And this time, I'm not just watching him leave.

I'm watching both of us grow.

Until the next pour...