THE CUFFING SEASON EDIT | PART ONE: Protect Your Time

Kisha No E

Oct 5

3 min read

Because being interested doesn't mean being available 24/7

Darlings...cuffing season has officially entered the chat or has it? Is it still a thing? Does anyone care to find or be open to love anymore?

And while I am absolutely not opposed to a cozy companionship, a handsome plus one, and the possibility of something beautiful blossoming into the kind of love that makes you stay, I have learned a few things about getting smittened along the way.

Because sometimes we meet someone we really like and suddenly our lives become their lives. The routine gets rearranged. Plans get canceled. Phone boning (remember that, lol) becomes incorporated into routine. And before we know it, we're so busy making room for somebody else that we've misplaced ourselves.

So, from a woman who has absolutely been guilty of this, here are three things I'm protecting this cuffing season.

1. Protect Your Time

Let me tell y'all something I've learned about getting smittened:

Have you some business (as Rickey likes to say)

I don't mean play games or pretend you're too busy to answer a text. I mean actually have a life of your own.

Your time is limited, and especially at this big age, it needs to be spent intentionally.

I've been the woman who got caught up. I peaked interest in somebody, and before I knew it, I was rearranging my schedule, shifting plans, and making room for a plus one who had not yet earned permanent real estate in the books.

I was falling head over heels and, somewhere along the way, I was putting myself on pause.

A platonic male friend finally looked at me and said:

“This isn't like you.”

And he was right.

When have y'all known me to be in bed after 0630a? When have you known me to shift my routine and skip Pilates?

Exactly. He made a point.

I had gotten so wrapped up in somebody else's company that I had temporarily stopped keeping company with myself.

And let me save you the suspense: there was no grand romantic ending.

We barely made it to 60 days. WOMP WOMP!!

But what I did get out of it was a reminder that has stuck with me:

Don't abandon your life because somebody interesting walked into it.

So these days, if there's a prospect, he gets squeezed in.

Not because I'm trying to make myself scarce, but because I already have a well lived life.

I don't need to be on the phone for three hours getting to know you.

For one, I hate talking on the phone.

And two, I'm better experienced in person anyway.

I'm a texter, but I'm not texting all day either.

Why?

I got a life. Remember? DUH!!

I have things to do. Places to be. Books to read. Workouts to attend. Trips to attempt. And, presumably, some coffee to drink in different area codes.

You might get a solid hour.

After that?