THE CUFFING SEASON EDIT | PART THREE: Protect Your Privacy

Kisha No E

Oct 9

4 min read

The appetizer is enough. He hasn't earned the main course yet.

Darlings...cuffing season has officially entered the chat or has it? Is it still a thing?

And while I am absolutely not opposed to a cozy companionship, a handsome plus one, and the possibility of something beautiful blossoming into the kind of love that makes you wanna stay, for a little while. I have learned a few things about getting smittened along the way.

Because sometimes we meet someone we really like and suddenly our lives become their lives. The routine gets rearranged. Plans get canceled. Phone Boning takes you back to the times where minutes were free after 9p. And before we know it, we're so busy making room for somebody else that we've misplaced ourselves.

So, from a woman who has absolutely been guilty of this, here are three things I'm protecting this cuffing season.

And if you've been following this short series all week; you've made it to the finale. If ever you needed a quick rewind, we've talked about protecting your time and routine. Just a quick behind the scenes on the production of it all. The intro pics are by way of a boudoir photoshoot I did with Veronica n makeup by THE YaniB Honey last year-totally forgot (or did I **wink**) to share previously but thought this series would be a good sample roll out before I drop the album **pun intended** and share details on my experience with sexy shoots and how every woman should do 'em at least one good time

Now back to the regularly scheduled program...

3. Protect Your Privacy

Now listen.

If there's one thing I've learned from my male friends over the years, it's this:

Talk less.

Now whether I've listened or not is another story!

Years ago, Rickey told me, essentially, women talk too much.

And I hate to admit it...

But I get it.

Because when we're excited about the possibility of someone, we want to tell them-EVERYTHING.

Our childhood.

Our family.

Our exes.

Our traumas.

Our favorite movies.

The story behind our nail polish.

That girls' trip that went left in 2017...

Girl.

Shet up. 😂

He doesn't know you.

And you don't owe him your life story simply because he asked you a SIMPLE question.

I've learned to let people earn access to me.

For example, if a man asks:

“So, do you have kids?”

My answer is:

Yes, two sons.

DASSIT.

He doesn't know their names.

Their ages.

Their birthdays.

Their favorite foods.

Their schools.

Their shoe sizes.

Their entire family tree and blood types.

If he asks another question, I'll answer it appropriately.

But I'm not volunteering a five-minute documentary when he asked for a trailer.

That's privacy.

And honestly, I think it's important to remember that when you're dating someone new:

You don't know this man.

He doesn't know you either.

Let the relationship naturally unfold and let it be.

You are learning about him, and he's learning about you. You're both gathering information. You're both deciding whether there's something worth building here and he's already computed within the first few minutes or convos the category you'll go into.

So give him the appetizer.

Let him wonder about the main course.

And listen, I'm not suggesting you become secretive or play some weird covert game.

I'm saying slow down.

You don't have to tell somebody everything about you just because you like them.

Some things can be revealed with time.

Some things can be earned.

And some things can simply remain yours.

Protect ya neck.

Because at the end of the day, you're not desperately seeking Susan.

You're not trying to convince somebody you're worthy of being chosen.

You're simply allowing someone to get to know you while you decide whether you even like them enough to keep the conversation going.

And that, my darlings, is a very different energy.

I'm still all for love. (Sidenote: Ready to Love new season just started and they in Chicago)

I'm still hopeful that somewhere between the coffee dates, the good conversations, the awkward first impressions and the occasional “Oh he got me F'd up?” there is somebody who fits the bill and up for the challenge.

Because love is a beautiful thing when you find the right match and build something beyond the attraction.

But these days, I've removed the expectations and curved the ego a little.

Sure, I'm a pretty face. Yea he look good-and what else.

Who am I to think I'm a sure shot to get picked based on my amazing personality and hidden talents to win a hula hoop contest?!

I'm not for everyone.

And that's okay.

I'm learning that the goal isn't to be chosen by everybody.

It's to remain myself long enough to recognize the person who is actually right for me.

I know who I am.

So cuff if you want to cuff.

Get cozy.

Get smittened.